Right now, I can hear the big, big boss outside my door. Not sure what he is talking about but he has been there off and on all day talking to the people there. Mostly IT people doing different applications within the government so I suppose it is kind of important. I really don't know, not my area.
I am also listening to This American Life on my headphones. Something about square dancing being the national dance of the US. I don't see it but I have not really been paying attention. I think they are for it but I'm not sure.When I get the chance, I listen to my podcasts while at work. And now, I just got the message that my headphones have to be charged, so I guess I will not be listening for much longer.
I listen to mostly US shows, then again, most podcasts are from the US. I listen to This American Life, TMS (The Morning Stream), DTNS (Daily Tech News Show), and lots of others. I listen to the podcast of a Dallas sports station, the Ticket. They put out a top ten moments every day, plus a summation of the best of BAD Radio once a week, although I seem to have noticed I have not heard one of those in a couple of weeks. Might have to check into it. I also listen to SBS news hear in Australia but that is a two to three minute update ten or 15 times a day. Most of the news is not really Australian but there is some. Most of it is from around the world.
I do listen to a number of other podcast, must can't be bothered to mention them. I get about 6 to 8 hours or podcasts a day. I only listen to about 3 hours so I am usually way behind. Right now, I am about two weeks behind. Makes the news not all that relevant as most of it has already happened or has already been resolved but since I do not get a chance to watch anything else on TV or listen to the radio, this is the only news I get.
I have cut way, way back on the podcasts. I used to be about 10 hours a day but I found that just totally unworkable. I think I have actually cut it all the way back to about 3 hours a day and I am catching up. The only way I was catching up before was to just leave it running all the time and miss half the stuff I wanted to listen to. That didn't seem to be very productive but not downloading them at all doesn't seem to be the right thing either. I will either have to quit work and just listen to podcasts or do something else. Fortunately, I am quiting work soon so maybe I will get a chance to catch up.
My headphones just went flat so I can type faster now without having to listen to something else. By the way, I did eat an orange earlier that was very bad. I only mention it so that when they find my poisoned body laying here next to the computer, maybe someone will read the last thing I typed and realize it was the rotten orange. Not that it was all rotten. I ate about half of it and then found a piece that was a bit harder than the rest. I thought maybe it just wasn't ripe but it tasted bad and I had to spit it out and wash my mouth out with a cup of coffee. I can't really taste it anymore but the coffee barely helped.
I think it is time I moved on from work talk and personal talk and any other talk that is distracting me from finishing my job. I have a couple of assignments I need to be doing but I did this instead because they are not really my job and I was only given them because no one else wanted to do it. Something about figuring out why someone's computer is running slow. Like that is something I can fix. It's because they don't know how to use a computer but can't really say that to anyone. I had someone today insist that I had to fix their phone because it would occasionally get a rasping noise on the line. I have nothing to do with phones and even if I did, I am not sure how you would fix that besides replacing it. And all these phones here are programmed for each individual. They can plug it in anywhere and it downloads their information into the phone so they always have the same setup. Too much information to try to describe what I mean and I have wandered back into work talk again so I will leave it at that. I am hoping my earphones charge soon so I don't have to go on listening to myself think.
Juanita and the kids are leaving in about three weeks, I think. They leave on the 26th and it is the 1st right now. I am both very sad and very glad about it. I am very sad because I will be alone again, with no chance to talk to or see anyone. Everyone else I know has or is leaving also and I won't get any closer to the people I work with so I could hang out with them because I am leaving that also.I just don't know about being here by myself again. It might not go so well.
And you add to that the fact that all my furniture is gone. Juanita did a really good job of selling it all but it means for two months, I have nothing to sit on or sleep on. They all have single mattresses to sleep on but I generally sleep in a recliner, long story I don't want to go into right now, and with that gone and no other furniture, I am stuck trying to sleep in a chair that is not big enough to sleep in. I have not really slept in about two weeks now and there is no relief in site. I am thinking of sleeping in the car but I have not done that yet. I do, occasionally, try to sleep on one of the mattresses but that gives me a headache and my back is about gone so it is not very restful. I would go into my back problems but I will save that for another day. Let's just say, most people are telling me I will be unable to walk in a very short time if I do not find out what is wrong and do something about it. I say I cannot afford to be off work and there is really nothing you can do about it other than take pain medicine, which has for the most part stopped working for me. But that is another story.
I am glad they are leaving as it means they will get everything setup at the new place before I get there. I am sad they are leaving because I am sure they will set it up with no thought to my needs and I will once again be a stranger in my own house. I will feel like I am visiting all the time and never really feel comfortable. But once again, another story I will probably never tell.
Maeghan's last day of school is next week, I think. She does have to go back for some test in a couple of weeks, but all her classes end next week. William still has a long way to go but he will be leaving too so there is not a whole lot of point to him going to school here anymore. I will not go into my feelings about that.
Speaking of William, I am really starting to regret not being closer to him like I should be. I have always said I need to fix that but I never have. I miss him a lot and we do not spend a lot of time together and I know he really wants to. I could go into why but I don't really know why myself. I just don't seem to have the patience needed to do it. It's not that I do not like him but we do not have a lot in common and I am sure it is all my fault for not making it better for him. Maeghan and I get along all the time and always talk to each other and I know William feels jealous about that and wants to have the same relationship but they are just two different people and where Maeghan and I can talk and understand each other all the time, William just never gets it and does not appreciate my humor and I do not appreciate his. We just do not have a lot in common. Again, all my fault and I want to fix it. I have so much other things to fix that he gets left behind but I need to make the time. I will make the time. It has to be done and I am the only one who can do it. There is no chance at all that he will ever read this and that is one of the problems, he cannot read, but if you ever do read this William I want to tell you.
I am sorry. It doesn't help but I am sorry. I love you and I miss you and I want us to be friends. I am hoping that if you are reading this, then I might have made a difference but if not, maybe your wife or someone will read it to you in the future. I love you William. It may not seem like it and I hope you are saying that I am wrong right now, but I love you and I am sorry for not being there for you when you needed me.
I would say enough of that but I do not want to make a joke at this point. I mean everything I say about what I want with William and it is up to me to make it happen.
I suppose I should be going now. I hate to have such a downer entry but that seems to be all I do lately. It is not a happy time and has not been a happy time for a long time. I don't see how moving will help and only see that it will make it worse. But, if I can find a decent job and make some money again, maybe this time we can make it work better. It is hard to do when we don't have any money and don't have a lot of things we can do together. Before I go off into another sad story, I am going to end this. Wasn't meant to be so depressing but it turned out that way. Tonight, they are all going to William's school fair. I don't get home in time, or I would not get there until it is actually ending, so they are going by themselves. I think they will be leaving early anyway as this school fair always leaves a lot to desire. Nothing really happening at it and other school fairs are much better. Plus, the Huon show is in a couple of weeks so that should make up for it.
I will just get going now. Talk to you later.
Until next time
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