MWNews 263

 You know what I regret most about this blog. That I didn't keep it up over the years. I am going back through it, reading all my funny posts and mistakes I made, but I see that there are months and years when I did not post. Looking back, I really regret that. At some point, this was really, really good. It changed over the years and I wish I had chronicled it more closely. I am at the end of the day now and I will have to get back to this later, but I just thought I needed to say that while I was thinking about it. Regrets and recriminations, we all have them. It would have been nice to have more of this to read. 

Well, I'm back today. Not sure what kind of time I have. Lots of changes at work and no one knows how it will all shake out. Ideally, I would take over, but that is probably not something I want to do. I could make the arrangement to run it until I retire, but that is a lot of learning on my part and I am just not up to that. I say all this because I have more to do at the moment and don't know when I will get back to this. Already been interrupted twice while I typed this paragraph. 

Back to the hunt. Juanita came back from her one day trip to Tasmania. And that will be all I say about that.

I had a long lunch with Maeghan while she was gone. We just had lunch. It was very nice. Not sure if we discussed anything other than nothing. I did ask about her friend, the one she lives with. I have the sneaking suspicion that they are not getting along. Maeghan said they were but I still have my doubts. I worry that if they stop being friends, Maeghan will have to move and that presents a whole lot of other issues. She likes living in Beachmere but I am not sure there are other places to live there, plus it is not really a place you can get in and out of without a car. The busses are not reliable and when you take the bus, it adds a couple of hours to the trip before you actually get anywhere. If you miss the bus, you might as well not go. Could be 30 minutes, could be an hour before the next bus. And, they don't run at night, so you have to be home before dark. It's just not a good place to live if you don't have a car.

Along those fronts, Maeghan might be moving forward with getting a license and a car. I don't know all the details but she seemed pleased that something has happened. I think it is just another new person from NDIS working with her and making all the same promises but I suppose we have to wait and see if anything comes of it. I am perfectly willing to help in any way I can, but it hasn't come to that yet. I'd buy her a car if NDIS would pay for the modifications but that is still in the air. I'd buy the modifications if Maeghan wanted to buy the car. The limit I have is I can't do both. I could, but then I would have to die when I am 70 as I would be out of money. Still willing to do it, but I am holding out for NDIS to actually do something before I go that far.

William is still discouraged by the job market. Or I think he is. I don't know if he is actually looking. He or his mother have not mentioned it lately. I know he is keen to get something, but I am not so sure he knows how to do it. Yes, I should be helping him. And I have said many times, I will do it when the time is right. Meaning, I want him to figure it out. It does no good if I do it for him and then something happens to me and he has no idea how to do anything by himself. I think he can figure it out, but as it hasn't happened yet, I am starting to get more and more worried about it.

I don't remember if I told you about the road trip he and his friends were planning.  I am not sure I should. Since he can't drive, he is more a passenger on the trip, but apparently they cooked up this idea recently and say they are going to do it.

They want to go to Chucky Cheese. I have no idea why. I explained that Chucky Cheese is a place for little kids. It has nothing for adults. He says it would be cool to go there. Somehow, he and his friends decided they wanted to go. I told him there were places around here that were exactly like Chucky Cheese but you know how that goes. They want Chucky Cheese. And I am tired of writing Check Cheese so hopefully, this will be the last time.

The fact that they have convinced themselves that they want to go there is not the strange part of this tale. It gets totally weird from this point. 

When he told me they wanted to go, (almost typed it again), I said there isn't one in Australia. Actually, his mother told me they wanted to go and I told her there wasn't one. She had William tell me what they were planning. I assumed, since it was a road trip, they might want to drive to Sydney because there might be one there. Not an unreasonable trip, about an 8 hour drive. But no, not in Sydney. So then I assumed Melbourne. A much longer drive, but it could be an adventure. It would take them at least three days to get there, two if they pushed it really hard. So they could take a week, go to Melbourne, and then come back. A bit long but he is twenty and he needs to get out more and see the world.

No, not Melbourne. It is in Perth. To give you some idea of what that drive is, imagine New York to Los Angeles. It is minimum of 48 hours driving. That does not include anything else and assumes you can just drive. But let me tell you about a drive to Perth. To do the 48 hour driving route, you have to go the straight line. Not the around the coast route, which would pass through all the major cities in Australia, but the straight route. Through the desert. Across the outback. In the native lands. Yes, you would pass near Uluru, beyond that and much of what is before that, is desert. Several stretches where there are no towns, no buildings, no road in some places, that require you to bring your own petrol. Stretches where there is no petrol for 500 kilometers. Roads that are subject to being washed away if it rains. Places where you can drive for hours and never see anything but desert. Not big sandy desert but rough, flat, scrub brush desert. It is not something you ever want to do.

Yes, trucks and some crazy people do it. But they do it because they have to, not just on a whim. This is harsh country. No one lives there. There is nothing. I have driven a small part of it once, going south to north and not east to west. We went through one part that was 350 kilometers with no towns. At the end, we came to a town and had to spend the night in the car waiting for the petrol station to open in the morning. We were told not to stop in that town. I thought we had to because I was not sure we could make it to the next one. There were no shops, abandoned buildings, very few houses, but some truck filling station that we waited at to see if we could get petrol from them. Along the way, I went through one stretch of road that was perfectly straight for a length of time I had no idea what it was. I tell the story of seeing headlights in front of me and turning off my bright lights as we approached. 20 minutes later, we finally met the other car. It took that long and I could see them that far away that it took us driving towards each other for 20 minutes before I actually needed to turn my brights down. A really desolate place.

But that was, or as far as I know still is, their plan. Four friends, only three of which can drive and they are on their learners licenses which means they cannot drive at night. In an old car that frequently breaks down just driving around Brisbane. Going across the Australian outback with no hope of being able to contact anyone if anything goes wrong. There is no cell coverage out there. I don't even think you can get satellite coverage. It's that far gone. If you were looking for an adventure, this might be the one that you will remember. Kind of rough for the first time out.

Hopefully, I have dissuaded him from this. I don't really know yet. He hasn't mentioned it nor has his mother. Might mean they just don't want me to criticize it again. Another thing we will just have to wait and see.

I have been given a lot of work to do, so I have to go. This entry might be entertaining, if not coherent. It does have to end now though. Not even a chance to go back and reread it for clarity.

Later

MWNews 262

 I have been reading though the old entries, from the beginning. Some of it still makes me cry, but it seems I cry at everything these days. I miss the kids. Not that they are not around and I can pretty much see them anytime I want, but reading through the old stuff and the old antics they used to get up to just brings back a lot of joy and happiness we had. I am just up to the point where William was born. I know I had heart surgery around that time, so I am wondering what I might have typed into this thing about that. Probably nothing, but we will see.

For now, I will continue to add to it. I am thinking I need to add the pictures back. It just doesn't look good without them. Probably use the same pictures over again as I don't want to go back and look to see if I am repeating, and I have been away for a while so I don't know which ones I have used. It will be individual pictures of each of them instead of them together as I have a lot of those that have never been in here. I will have a look when I get home, or sometime this weekend, or next week, or whenever I get around to it.

Juanita is going to Tasmania this weekend. She is going to see her friend who has been diagnosed with cancer. I told her we were going in November for her birthday, but she insists she needs to go now. so I have the weekend with just me and William. William never wants to go anywhere so it will probably be just me. I have asked Maeghan if she wants to go somewhere but she hasn't answered yet. She might before I finish this entry, so I might have an update. She will probably say "I don't care" which what she always says, but maybe there is some place she wants to go and has not had a chance since she can't drive.

That is becoming a bigger and bigger issue. Neither William or Maeghan can drive. Maeghan because she needs special modifications to the car so she can drive it and there does not appear to be a lot of places that have the cars to do the driver training she needs. And, it is turning out, that NDIS is not going to pay for any of it, which is what they were originally designed to do but they have changed all their criteria and support when they found out people were actually trying to cheat the government. Imagine that. So they have overrun the original costs they had planned for and are now revamping what is and what is not covered and who is eligible for it. Driving does not appear to be a necessary service. Their attitude appears to be you can just take the bus and driving is not necessary. But the parameters are still being defined and it might get better. Maeghan had to fire her support company because they were incompetent. Long story I might tell, but they were not doing the things they said they were doing and were not filling out required paperwork that was needed to get Maeghan's benefits. I think they were one of the companies that were cheating the government, turning in false claims and false information so they would get paid but were actually doing nothing for their clients. All speculation on my part, but she has a new support worker now and hopefully, she can get things done as they should be.

I need to get William into driving my car. I have been reluctant as the car was brand new, but it is two years old now, so maybe he can learn to drive in it. He says he is too tall to drive but we have explained that a lot of people are tall and they manage to drive. William is 6'7". I am not sure what that is in Australian measurements but it is tall in American. I could probably do the conversion, but then what would the readers do. 

A big issue is there are not any places where you can go to learn to drive. Things like stadium parking where there is a lot of space where you won't run into anything. There are shopping centers but they are busy during the day and usually closed off at night. Plus, most of them are parking garages and not suitable to learning to drive. I just don't know of a place where he can get used to how the car moves without the threat of running into something, or someone. But, I need to find something soon because he really needs to learn to drive.

So does Maeghan. It is more important that she learns to drive as she is not mobile unless someone takes her to where she needs to go. She can take the busses and trains, but that is a flakey situation that requires a lot of extra time to get anywhere. If she could drive, she could go anytime she wants. She does have the money to buy a car, and NDIS is supposed to do the modifications to it to allow her to carry her wheelchair, but that is becoming more and more iffy as well. She is not sure they will pay for it, and it costs almost as much as a car will. It might come down to me paying for it, but that is my retirement money and I am becoming more and more scared of spending that as I get closer to retirement. I don't have a way to build it back up unless I just keep working. And I do not want to do that.

I am ready to retire. I am tired. I am burned out, and I no longer want to work in IT. My body says I shouldn't be working anywhere, but if I can find something simple, I would gladly take it. Of course, this job is supposed to be simple, and for the most part it is. Nothing really major and mostly just repetitive, which I don't mind, so this would actually be the job I should stay at, if I am going to continue to work. But that brings up the current situation in that a lot of the people up here have recently quit. They quit for good reasons, better jobs, but it means they will have to hire more people. People that I might not get along with or might require me to do more than I am willing to do at this point in my career. I can't go through that again. I can get used to someone new, but waiting for them to get used to me, and possibly not liking who I am and what I do and expecting more from me, I am not ready to do that again. Hopefully, six more months, but we will see.

Maeghan still hasn't replied and I am about to have to go into a meeting and then go home for the day. I guess that means I will end this and probably not get back to it. I have a lot of what has gone on for the two years I was away, or I think I do. Maybe even some of it will be about the kids. I intend to keep cranking these out as fast as I can but maybe not as fast as I would like. I enjoy it, except the crying part, and I hope when the kids inherit this, they will too. I know they will. I'd like for others to enjoy it but then again, why would I. It is for the kids. Not for me, or maybe mostly for me, but for the kids. To remember and look back on things they might not have known and might enjoy reliving from my perspective. See you all again real soon.

Later

MWNews 261

 My health has deteriorated in the past few years. Or, it hasn't gotten better. I feel awful. Tired and ackey most of the time. Physically, I am not sure what is going on. Am I just getting old or is there something wrong. I don't know and I do not know how to tell a doctor. I say things and he wants me to go for tests. They don't find anything or they recommend I go to physical therapy. I have tried physical therapy. They tell me to go home and do some silly exercise or something. I do it and it never helps. I still feel lousy. I don't know what else to do. I have tried exercising on my own, but that doesn't last very long before I get tired of it or something happens and I get out of rhythm so I have to start over again. It's all my fault but, in the end, I still feel bad.

My back hurts, my knees hurt, my ankles hurt, everything hurts. Exercising makes it worse. I feel really bad for longer after I do it. Maybe it is just me and I am not doing enough, but it is kind of hard when you are in so much pain, you can't continue and you just want to take a break. So I skip a day and then I skip two days and soon enough, I can't do it anymore and I have to start the whole routine over again. It is very frustrating.

And yes, I know, that is everyone's problem and everyone has the same complaints. But I didn't used to be that way and I could finish everything I wanted to do. So it must be the getting old problem and there is nothing I can do to fix that.

I also have heart issues over and over again. And the threat of strokes because I keep getting TIA's or TAI's or whatever it is you get that is like a mini stroke and indicates you are at risk of getting a real stroke. I have them about every three months. Doctors tell me I need to go to the hospital immediately so they can check me while it is happening but it never happens when I can immediately go to the hospital and by the time I get there, they say they are guessing it was a TIA but they are never sure. Very frustrating.

But that is all physical stuff, and is by no means all the physical issues I am having. The real problem is mental. I think I am fast approaching mental incapacity. Dementia. It is bad. Real bad. So much so, I keep having disturbing thoughts. I do not want to lose my mind. It is all I have ever had. I was always, or most of the time, the smartest one in the room. Didn't matter where I was or who I was with, I knew I could out think anyone, or had more knowledge than anyone around me. Arrogance on my part, but that doesn't make it not true. It didn't matter what subject or what anyone was talking about, I always knew something about it and generally I had more knowledge than the person who was speaking. I always tried to not speak my mind and let them discover that I could help if they needed it, but in my mind, I knew it. Again, genuine arrogance on my part, but that's me. The smartest one in the room, if only in my mind.

I am not that anymore. I am not the smartest one in the room. I am learning to live with it. Sometimes, I think I should get more involved and learn about what others are talking about, but then I think I am old and will retire soon, so why learn something new just so I will have no use for it when I do retire. I debate on the usefulness of me learning something new and whether it will make me happy or not. Most of the time, I come up with no, too much effort for too little gain. Makes me look stupid most of the time, but I can live with that. Or, I think I can. I am trying to live with it.

I think the biggest issue is, what if I can't. What if my mental state and my inability to remember what I am saying in the middle of saying it, indicates that I no longer can learn what I need to learn or what I need to do. It faces me all the time. Am I still capable. I don't know and I am afraid to find out. So I stay in ignorance and let others do it. 

I know that at times, I am truly brilliant. I give little speeches that are inciteful, accurate, and come up with real solutions to problems. So I know I can still do it. It is just that 24 hours later, I have no idea what I was talking about or why I was saying or doing whatever it is I did. People come back to me and say they thought that was a good idea and I have no recollection of what they are talking about. I cannot elaborate on it. Again, it makes me come off as ignorant and not helpful. But I don't remember and no amount of trying ever seems to bring it back. The ideas are gone and the seeming knowledge and insight I had is no longer there. I forget it. It's gone. Maybe I come up with the same idea months later, but I don't remember ever saying anything about it.

You know I have lots more to say about it. I will eventually. But for now, this self pity has gone on long enough and I need to go to lunch. Maybe a sandwich will help. I have salami and cheese. And pickle, I love pickles. I even have a t-shirt that says I love pickles. It says, 'I love pickles and chilis and maybe three other people'. I get comments on it every time I wear it. It is a lot of fun so I have to save it for when we go out or go somewhere so people will be amused and tell me they feel the same way. It is a lot of fun.

But this does mean I am closing this entry. I will be back to talk more about me, I mean the kids, later. It is Friday, so maybe I will do it at home on the weekend. That will never happen, but maybe. I do feel like playing some Civilization. Can't type and play at the same time, but maybe I can figure out a way.

Later

MWNews 260

I am finding it hard to believe I am typing this again. Making new entries into the blog. I always knew I would be back some day, but didn't think it would take two years and since it has, I can't believe I have started. I wish I could do it more often

This one isn't a childhood story. Just general mayhem. I am going to wing it and probably just type a little and then get back to it as I can. I might tell a few stories, but that is what this is for. I just don't know where the muse will take me. 

I think I am noticing something a bit different in the font that is being used. Can't be bothered to go back and compare, but something about it looks different. Probably just my imagination. But something is different. Can't tell what.

I have also debated on putting pictures back in. I always had trouble doing that since I am doing it at work and it is hard to get the pictures onto my work computer. Not hard, just not something I wanted to do. I probably won't do it, but I might, if I ever do this at home, go back into the entries and add the pictures from my home computer. Just depends on how interested I am in doing it. One thing I have thought, over the years, is the pictures might be why people look at this blog. Pictures of kids and stuff, if you know what I mean. I have always debated it but decided it was better to have the pictures and ignore the ramifications. Might have been a bad idea, but it is too late now, unless I go back and delete them all. I will decide when I get older. 

Oh wait, I am older. And, I am uncomfortable with the pictures being there. I watch some YouTube videos and a lot of them have blurred out the kids in the pictures. Most of them haven't, but there are quite a few that have. I understand it was at the direction of YouTube. I will definitely do it if I am told to do it, but for now, they are there and I am debating continuing it. It is a whole lot easier if I don't, but we will see. 

Maeghan is going to University now. She has two years left. I don't know if I talked about that before. She is studying Graphic Design. She decided she didn't really want to do the kids thing anymore. I think she might change her mind at some point, but for now, this is what she wants. She got a HECS debt to afford to go to University. Not sure how much it is. It is fairly expensive to go. I won't go into HECS debts but here in Australia, you can get your schooling paid for and they don't want the money back until you get a job. Then they take some percentage from your check to pay the debt. I am not sure how it works, but it allows anyone to go to school if they want to.

She has taken one programming course, along with all the other art and design courses. She hated it. Not sure if she realises that Graphic Design is more than just drawing. She has done some stop animation movies, or shorts, and will have to do a bunch more. She has to draw each picture and then put them together. It takes forever but I think she enjoys it. We will see if she completes the course and where it leads her. I know she will complete it, but two more years might seem like a long time to go.

William is now a certified security guard. He just got his certificate this week. Been about six months of work and a lot of fees, but he has the card now, so he can apply for jobs. Problem is, most of the jobs he has found require two years experience. I don't know how hard he has looked, but I think he is already getting discouraged. I might have to help him at some point, but that goes back to the old thing I am trying to do. I want both of them to be able to do things on their own. Not depend on me to do it for them. Maeghan is doing ok, she should ask me more often, but she is trying to get it done on her own. 

William is trying to do it on his own also, but I keep having to do the computer work for him. Filling out forms and stuff. He has done a lot, but if it is something new, he asks me to do it and that takes forever because I am old and don't want to do it. But I help when I get in the mood. He applied, followed up and did most of the paperwork for the security guard stuff, but in the end, I had to help or look over the work to make sure it was done correctly. He actually did it better than I did as I didn't know some things that he did, so I think he will be alright. As long as he does not get too discouraged about the progress in finding a job that will hire him straight out of class. I haven't looked yet, but maybe he can do it on his own. I can't help as I have never done it before, but I can show him some better ways to look.

I think he needs to get onto Centrelink and get them to do some things for him, specifically, pay him some money while he looks. I think they should have already done that, but that is a whole other story I will not get into. They might also help him find a job. They are supposed to do that, or they used to. Now, I think it might be that they just provide a computer for you to look up jobs. He doesn't really need that. Maybe he can do it all on his own, but if I ever get better, I will eventually try to do it for him. My feeling is, he has about six months left before I plan to retire and then I can help him fulltime. And that brings us to me and where I am at.

I did have a lot more in this entry, but it was about me. I decided to make it a separate entry. That will make this one and the next one short, but I thought it would be better that way. Don't know why, but it is about to be done now, so no going back. For now, that is all I have to say. Look forward to my sad story in the next issue.

Later

MWNews 259

William

 I should mention that when William was born, I was preparing to go into the hospital for open heart surgery. So not only was Juanita dealing with the pain her pregnancy was causing, she had to worry about me and surgery. 

I am pretty sure her parents were here at that time. Someone was here with her. The birth itself was nothing really to write about. I don't remember any issues, other than William was in the wrong position again, so they delayed the birth for a week or ten days. I have no idea why, it was going to be a cesarian again, so what difference does the position of the baby have to do with anything. I suppose I just don't know enough about it.

And come to think about it, how was I able to take all that time off work. I was off for I think two months. I was working at CSC but had only been there for a while. How did I have that much time off for this. And was I restricted when I went back. I was in charge of stuff, so how did that work. I don't remember and I don't really care at this time, so let's leave it at that.

William was the baby. Maeghan loved the baby. I do remember stories about him having to eat every two hours. Juanita would have to get up and feed him all the time. He was big and getting bigger. I suppose it didn't really effect me as I did not have to feed him, but I am told it was every two hours. Actually, I have no idea if that is a lot of not. How would I know. Seemed ok to me, I'd like to eat every two hours, so if you can get away with it, go for it. William had the right idea.

Me not being able to lift him or anything was probably also a problem, but I don't remember it being an issue other than getting yelled at when I did something I was not supposed to do. A quick story about what I am sure I have written about before.

The most painful thing about the surgery, and they told me there were a lot of things that would be bad but I never noticed them being that bad. The worst thing was when they pulled the staples out of my chest and leg. Especially, around the ankle. That hurt. I think it is because they cannot really numb the area, just the skin or something, but when they pulled the staples, and they are giant staples, when they pulled them out of the bones, that hurt. Just wanted to mention that again, in case anyone is thinking of doing it. The operation, don't remember it, but the staples, that I remember. But that is my story and not William's.

The problem with William didn't start until he started moving. Crawling, scooting, and then walking, he was always on the move. All the time, anywhere, no matter what else he was supposed to be doing. He would crawl around his bed. He would try, and eventually succeeded, to pull himself up on the crib. He just always wanted to be moving and investigating something. You had to constantly watch him. Turn your back for a moment, and he had climbed out of his crip, climbed up on something, crawled somewhere he wasn't supposed to be. He was on the move. Even if you were holding him, if you turned your attention away for a second, he was trying to get away and into something. 

Around the house, it was not really a problem. You just had to watch him and make sure he didn't get into the cabinets, or up on the counters, or under something. He would open a drawer in the kitchen and climb up on it, then open another drawer and climb into that and then he could reach the counter and would get up on there. I think he only made it a couple of times before we caught him doing it, but getting into the cabinets, you sometimes wouldn't notice and then spend time looking for him and where he went.

The big problem came when we went out. We like to go out for coffee a lot. Just go to the shops and sit and have a coffee and relax. That ended with William. It was two years, maybe more, where we did not go anywhere. He was just too much to deal with. One of us would have to constantly keep an eye on him while the other had coffee. It was not fun. He never did the screaming kid thing, but he did not stay still and was always trying to get out to explore. Strap him in, he would struggle and struggle to get out and a lot of times, he would figure it out and get himself out of the straps. 

He was just curious I guess, and not just in what we were doing. He would go to other people and join them or climb over them to get to something if we would let him. He would just make a nuisance of himself so eventually, we would just have to leave and go back home. After a while we just stopped going. For about two years. It wasn't bad but that kid was the definition of rambunctious. And I have no idea if I spelled that right. It says it is ok but it gave me three options and all of them looked right, so I went with that one.

I don't think William ever grew out of it. He just learned to do it without bothering other people of making a nuisance of himself. He just became William. Curious, always asking questions, looking into things on his own. I know with Maeghan and all the attention she got from doctors and everyone else, he felt kind of left out and I am sorry it had to be that way. Maeghan always had something we were worried about and had to talk about so he didn't get to be involved. I think it has affected him more than we realise over the years.

I am very proud of William. He does things that I would never think to do or think about him doing them. I don't want to bring religion into it, but when we have gone to church or a meeting or something, he talks to people, asks them what is wrong or tries to talk to them and help them. It is just amazing. I don't really want to encourage it, but it is sometimes one of the most amazing things I see. 

He doesn't have a lot of friends, now or ever. He is a bit too sure of himself to really make friends that stay with him. I have always thought he would grow out of it. It is just typical kids or boy stuff. Always has to have a word in the conversation and really tries to express his opinion. Problem is, most of the time he is wrong or exaggerated or just not really straight with the facts. But he tells it to you like it is the only thing that means anything. I love William, but sometimes he is just wrong and I don't want to discourage him from expressing his opinion so I just let him go. But it gets him in trouble with his friends.

William, if you ever read this and I doubt if you ever will, I love you and I am very very proud of you. I am waiting for you to set your life up and get into what you want to do before I really let you know how I feel and try to guide you but I feel I have left it too long. I don't want to discourage you. You keep doing what it is you do and eventually, you will find people that appreciate you for you and not the over-exaggerated stories you try to tell. I have seen it with all teenagers and kids and especially boys, but I know you will become better for it and I will continue to be the most proud of what you have accomplished. Don't let anyone ever tell you you are disadvantaged or anything. You are special and you will make a good life for yourself. I love you.

And with that, I will end this entry. I think I have told most of the stories I wanted to tell. I will now move on the general entries like I used to do. Or, maybe not.

Later

MWNews 258

 Maeghan

Maeghan's second operation was a bit more complicated, or so we were told. They were going to try to fix the split in her spinal column up near her neck. This is the one they had been waiting for. It was the one that would determine if she was 'normal' or if she would be paralysed or worse. I say this over and over, but I don't remember when this happened or how old she was. I am pretty sure it was before she was 3, but I don't know how much younger, or maybe older. I don't know.

The operation itself was supposed to take about 8 hours, I believe. A long time with not a lot of news from the room. I don't know how many doctors were to be involved but I think there were a lot of observers. I am vaguely remembering this, so I am probably getting some of it wrong.

We had to go through the putting her under again. I don't remember if she was walking yet. She didn't walk until she was about 2, so it could have been before that but I don't think so. She was walking and talking. She was always talking. I have probably gone through some of this in the earliest blogs so I should go back and read them to make sure I am not contradicting things. But I won't, go back that is. So if I tell the story differently, the earlier ones are more accurate, so ignore them and try to follow along with the new story.

I really have no idea what they actually did. It was to fix her neck. What that involved is beyond me. Strange that I have not done more research on it. That is what I would normally do, but phones were not what we have now and I was probably using an old flip phone. I know I had the Nokia Navigator back then, for a long time. I loved that phone. But it did not have internet and I am pretty sure no one had heard of an iPhone, so looking things up was not an option.

Juanita seemed to think that Maeghan's spine was split into three but I don't know where she heard that. Maybe they said something at some point or maybe we were just looking at pictures and we didn't know what they were showing us. The surgeon that was doing it said there was just a split and he was going to attempt to repair it. I don't know, but no one ever said three so I will discount that as Juanita misunderstanding what was happening.

I don't remember watching William, so that is why I think it was before she was three. William was born when she was after that, so I think it was when she was two or something. Guess it doesn't really matter.

Maeghan came out of the operation with no issues. Then again, how would we know. We had been given so many warnings about what could and probably would happen, that just having her still with us was the happiest we had been. The doctor came out and was all excited and said everything had gone really well and they had fixed everything. He seemed really pleased so we were really pleased. He said things would show up later in life but for now, everything was good. She wasn't in danger of losing her ability to walk or anything for a while, so it was all good. They had stabilized it and she didn't have any outstanding issues. She still had the fused spine in the lower part of her back, so she would still be small, but for now, she was fine and has been ever since then. Still don't know what the ramifications are for the future, but it was all good back then.

Which brings us to the walking and talking stage and Maeghan being the cutest thing that ever was. I have told those stories before and I might go into a few of them again, but we were happy at that point and could focus our attention on having William and making sure Maeghan was ok.

This entry is kind of short and I was going to go into the whole shoe debacle, but I think I will just end it being short. I might have to actually go back and read some of the other stuff so I know what can be repeated and what needs to be told. Not sure when, I am once again doing this at work, but should be soon. Maybe even today. I need to continue the William story, so that will take some time. William didn't have any problems, he was just such an adventure and I need to emphasize that a bit more than I think I have in the past. 

But that can wait. Have work to do.

Later

MWNews 257

Let's just do a free for all entry. Just kind of some random thoughts and adventures so I can take a break from the heavier stuff.

Of course, I am at work. It is Open Day. I have probably described it before. The school opens the doors for all visitors and students, parents, grand-parents and friends come in. It is mostly a showcase for new students, so they can come in and see if they like the school. I am not sure what the percentages are on each group. I am told 8000 to 9000 people come in each year but I don't think there is an actual count anywhere. Mostly, it is each house group creating food and selling it. Some crafts, but not many. They even have a bar this year. I am told they had one last year but I don't remember it. I can't really imagine an open bar at a school with most of the students still here. Why is that allowed. Not my job. 

My job is to sit in the IT reception area and direct people through to the main areas. When I first started, we closed the doors and no one was allowed to come through, but it is different each year. Last year, IT had their own booth but not this year. Anyway, that is what I am doing while I type this. Probably go get some food soon. I have more than the usual amount of parents through, so I hope that doesn't last.

It is Juanita's 60th birthday in November. We are planning on a trip to Tasmania as none of her family or friends are here. I am in the middle of planning that. Airline tickets, where to stay, car rental and then trying to figure out a place to book for lunch and dinner. 

I say lunch and dinner because some of her older relatives live in Tasmania and they are in late 80's and 90s. They go to bed early, or so I am told. We have talked to someone over there and they are going to arrange a lunch at the casino for all of them. I think there will be 10 or so at that lunch. I am told they go to the casino all the time, so that is a good place to meet. I don't know if anyone else is planning on attending but he said he was going to make all the arrangements so I am not worrying about it. Dinner is going to be the real problem.

I am assuming we are going to have her close relatives there. Her brother and his wife, her sister, and then the nephews and their wives. I am not sure how many or if they will come. She also wants to have her friends at the dinner. I am not sure they will come, or not all the ones she has mentioned. I am sure some of them will, but not all. About 30 or so. Now I need to find a place that can accommodate them. And with that many, I am sure I will have to make a deposit and I am also sure they will not turn up. Ten or so at the most, but she wants about 30, or more if their extended families come. It is a logistical nightmare.

I haven't actually looked at a lot of places, but I need to start. There is a really nice restaurant in the casino that I would like to go to, but it is expensive and that would put most of her friends off. There are a couple of seafood places that I just thought of, so maybe I will check them out. For one of her brother's birthdays, when we lived there, we went to a really nice steak house. But that is way out of the price range I am looking for, even for me it would be prohibitive.

I looked at one Japanese Hibachi place. Lets just say for one person, it is about the price I am expecting to pay for four. So that's out. I even looked at some farm where they only do special occasions with reservations months in advance and you do not know what they will be serving that night. No walk-ins for that one and it servers whatever they are currently growing on the farm. It sounds good, but probably not for the crowd I am bringing.

So, the hunt begins to find an appropriate place that does not price everyone out of and is still special for a 60th birthday. It would all be easier if I was at home or someplace where I could do the cooking. I hope we all remember the 40th birthday party. Maybe something like that, but I don't live in Tasmania and there isn't a place that we could hold that kind of party. I do not want to ask her brother, although that would be a good place to have it, or ask one of her friends, we have had things over at their homes before, so I am stuck with finding a restaurant. Wish me luck.

One thing that complicates the issue is the sister situation. I am not allowed to say anything to anyone, but I am thinking, who reads this. If I put it in here, no one will ever know. No one knows I am writing this again and no one knows I was writing it before, so I am kind of just talking to myself. It might be ok to say something here. I am still thinking about it, so I will move on to something else and see if I work up the courage to put it down on paper. Nothing bad, just a big, big secret. If I do write it, I might say some things that will offend people, so I am precautious.

Right now, I am going to get my free dinner for Open day. Staff get a free meal from one of the stalls. You have to tell them beforehand what you want and then they give you a voucher. I am going to get my curry. I had it last year and it wasn't bad. Could have used a bit more spice, but then doesn't everything. I should be back shortly and if I am not, read about it in the next free for all entry.

Ok, I have had my curry, I am settled in for the next two hours of people walking through and smiling and asking me if they are allowed to walk through here. Am I am ready for doing nothing.

So, the sister situation. I have decided not to write about it in this entry. She said she would make a decision by next week but I doubt if that will happen. I have always said she left it too late and there was no way she could make all the arrangements in the six month time frame she has allocated. It is just too big a decision for not allowing for everything before it happens. But I won't talk about it. At least for another week.

By the way, some of the girls up here are way too annoying. I don't know a lot of the girls, but apparently the most annoying ones flock to the IT area to hang around. Always trying to talk to me and tell me their life stories. Maybe they do it somewhere else, but I suspect they do it because I don't tell them to go away. I just let them talk and go about my work. Every once and a while, one of them will ask me if I am listening. I nod my head and that is apparently enough to allow them to keep going. 

And as I type this, one of them comes up and asks if she can take a photo with me. I am sure I am not allowed to do that, but we did it anyway. What are they going to do to me, make me retire early. I look forward to it.

I am tired of typing. I think I will be going. Sit in the back for a while and get away from all the questions and stories I have to listen to. You can't really say no. Someone will report you for being mean or worse. I was asked the other day if I had been searching one of the girls emails. Not sure why they are asking me, or I understand why as I am with the computers a lot, but in a good environment, they would know not only is it near impossible but I would not be doing that. But I understand that they have to ask. Apparently one of the girls told her parents the reason there was some search on their laptop was that someone in IT did it. Impossible, and not very likely with the crew we have. It just points to the lack of management skills I see in the IT department. But who knows, maybe I am wrong. I know I am old and critical of most things, so maybe I am wrong. An old man complaint, but I wasn't brought up in the business world to manage like this. It is the modern world and how things are done. No going back unless I want to run things again. I do not.

Later