Friday, November 29, 2019
MWNews 155
I have a toothache. More of a jaw ache as none of my teeth hurt and they do not appear to be anything wrong with them but I can barely function for the last few days. The only thing that seems to help is putting ice on it, or cold water. I am constantly drinking cold water or chewing on ice to keep it numb and the pain down. Problem with that is the ice makes it hurt at first but then it goes numb and I don't feel it anymore. But that doesn't really work either. The pain comes back a few minutes after I take the ice off or the ice melts and then I have to do it again.
I am keeping cold water near me at all times, which is hard at work as the water doesn't stay cold without ice so I have to only fill my bottle about a quarter full so I can go get fresh from the cold water fountain all the time. Plus, drinking all this water means I have to go to the toilet about once or sometimes twice an hour. It just isn't going well at the moment.
I thought it had mostly gone away but it came back yesterday and is now just a constant pain which gets to the agony stage if I do not put something cold on it as soon as it starts to hurt.
Now you might say why don't I go to the dentist or the doctor. That presents more problems. I can go to the doctor, who will then recommend I go to the dentist but the dentist is not free, or part of the health coverage. It costs $300 to go to the dentist the first time because they have to do all kinds of things to set you up as a new patient. X-rays, cleanings, mapping. You can't just go to the dentist and say I have a tooth ache. They want to establish your current condition before they will start treating you for anything.
So basically, I have to take off work to go to the doctor who will give me a letter to go to the dentist where I will have to take another day off to see the dentist and then have to pay both of them to basically give me pain killers. Maybe they will find what it is but then I will have to start treatment and more visits and this is running into a lot of time not working and paying for a lot of things that may or may not help. And I move away in about a month and an half and I will not have a job. So I cannot afford to pay for all this when I should be saving money for when I don't have a job. So, I have a toothache.
Last night, I had another one of my attacks. Not sure how much detail I need to go into or will go into but basically, one of those times when I thought I might die.
Yea, I know, way too dramatic. But that is what it feels like and there is always the possibility that it will happen. I will go into a few details about what I am talking about. Basically, I wake up not being able to breath. I cannot suck air into my lungs. I can draw a bit of air but I think it mostly goes into my belly. It is very hard to describe. I try to breath in but can't. No air comes in. It feels like my throat is closed.
I wrote all the previous about a week ago. I was at work, still am, and I just go tired of writing it. It was not very interesting and I have thought of deleting it but as you can see, I left it in, just didn't finish my thoughts. So, read it as is, basically, I am old and falling apart and don't have much hope but I will trudge through it all. Still have the tooth ache. Some day I will tell the story of the not breathing part. I might have already done it in the past but these things are hard to read so I don't go back and find out.
The original reason for starting it last time was that I had Maeghan news. As you know, we went to the Huon Show a couple of weeks ago or whenever it was that we went. What you don't know, and I didn't really know about it until the day before, but Maeghan entered the photography contest. She submitted a few of her pictures, four I think, into the different categories of photos. I think there was flowers, scenery, black and white and portraits or something like that. I don't really know but I do know she has been taking pictures with her phone lately and she takes a lot of them. It might be that her best friends dad is a professional photographer but I don't know if she does it for school or just for fun.
I don't really know how many people actually submit photos to this contest. I know her friends father did and so did her friend, but I have no idea how many entries there were. I guess it doesn't really matter if you beat them all.
That's what Maeghan did. She got first place. She got first place in scenery or whatever the category was called, and she got highly recommended if black and white. Don't know what highly recommended is but she got a ribbon and a certificate for it. But she git first prize for a picture of some mountains she took in New Zealand. First prize. Doesn't matter if there were one or a hundred other entries, she beat them all with her photo. I might include it here if I can find it. All I have is a picture of it hanging on the wall and not the original so it doesn't really look that good.
It was a real surprise to all of us. We didn't think there was anything to it, she just wanted to enter her photos and see what happens. The first thing we did when we got to the fair was go to the exhibit building to have a look at the photos. It's not a big building, very small in fact. I think it is a meeting room or something. As you go in the door, the exhibits were on the right. The first thing we saw was the highly recommended photo she had. It was on the left side of the exhibit near the top. We were just saying she won something and we were getting happy about that. Then we saw, right next to the door, her other photo and a blue ribbon attached to it. She had won first prize, beating all the professional and other photographers that had entered, no matter how many there might have been.
I have been writing this entry for three weeks now. I never seem to finish it in the time I have and I forget what it is I have said or not said. So, what I am going to do it end this here. I have gone back and re-read this but I can't remember where I was headed with anything and I have fresh news so I think I will just skip it and start a new entry. Whether I do that today, which is Friday, or try again on Monday, the most likely thing to happen, its all up to how I feel. Been a very tiring week and I am on my own now, both at work and at home. Yes, they have left for Queensland and I am here until the end of the day covering the phones for some Christmas lunch everyone has gone to.
Before I start typing things again, I am going to close this. I will try to add the photos of Maeghan's awards but I don't know if I have access to them from here. But going into that starts another rant, so if the pictures are there, you already know it and if they are not, look forward to them some other day.
Until next time
Wednesday, November 13, 2019
MWNews 154
It's a new day. Have fun with it.
I have begun to consider the possibilities involved in being unemployed. Will things change. Will there be more spaghetti in my life. Is there a place that I can be and not be at the same time.
You know, I don't really have anything to say. I am at work, doing the same thing over and over again. My brain has rotted and I am not sure even if I find another job I will be able to actually do it. I might just find some work as a stoker in the grocery store. Or a paid greeter at Costco. Or maybe I can find a job being old. I am getting good at that.
For some reason, when I type stoker, it changes it to stalker. I think maybe that might be a new career. Professional stalker. I can spend my days following someone and being creepy. I certainly have the creepy part nailed. Probably don't have the patience to follow someone for any length of time. I'll just follow people who are sitting down. That way, I can have a coffee.
I would like more spaghetti in my life. Can't get enough spaghetti.
Maeghan is in the process of saying goodbye to her friends. Not a fun time I am sure. She still has a couple of weeks to catch up with them, but she does realize that this will be the end. Maybe stay in touch but probably not likely. She does still talk to some of her friends that have moved away over the years but these are her best friends she has had for a long time. Always hard to do. I've never actually had any friends, so I am just imagining it is hard.
William doesn't really have any friends. He had been spending more time with some of his schoolmates but they have always been mean to him and not really his friends. Don't know why they have chosen now to get closer and let him into their groups. William has trouble in groups, hard for him to not be the center of attention or at least to keep his mouth shut and not try to impress everyone. You know the type and school kids are not known for being very receptive to that. So he spends a lot of time at home.
But, the new world awaits. I don't see anything changing but it will hotter, so we will all be more short tempered. Heat does that to you. You would think I would be ready for it but I'm not. I have no idea how I will be handling it. I don't sleep now but with the heat I think I might sleep even less, if that is possible. The kids have never known this kind of heat. They have lived in Tasmania for a long time and it does not get hot here. It is always hot in Queensland and it never gets cold. Big changes for them.
I am not sure why I even started this entry. I don't have anything to say and I don't really feel like typing. I just thought it would pass the time since I have nothing else to do today and I have to look like I might be doing something.
William's birthday is next week. I got him a game for the Xbox. A game I said he couldn't have back when it came out but it was only $20 the other day so I bought it for him. GTA 5. I know, a game not really for kids but he really wanted it and I always said no but I guess it doesn't really matter anymore. He has to have something to do and he does have his own Xbox. Maybe it will keep him off of mine for a while. I doubt it as I have over 150 games since I have been a member of Xbox Live for about 5 or 6 years. New games every month. I have deleted about 80 of them as I ran out of room on my hard drive. I still own them and can download them again if I want to play them but I have never played most of the games I have. I just downloaded them because they were free. I haven't bought a new game for years. I think the last one might have been Skyrim, but I don't really remember. The games available are usually old and out of date but they are free so how can you lose.
I am currently playing Witcher 3. It was free at one point even though it is a relatively new game. I started it about 6 months ago but they kept referring to Witcher 2 and I had that one also. So I went back and played that. Now I have moved on to the new one, or the newest one they have. I am almost back to the point where I stopped playing it last time, so I guess I have caught up. Although, I am confused as some of the stuff I remember doing the first time are not there this time. I have no idea why. I think it might be because I just went around and tried to find everything there was to find and I think I screwed up the tasks that are available. I think I did some of them without actually having a task telling me to do it so the task never shows up. I don't know, but it seems different this time.
Guess that's enough about gaming. We are going to take William to the Huon Show. I have gone over what that is before so I will not do it again. None of us have any money so I am not sure he is going to get to enjoy it but it's only $25 for a family to get in so it is really cheep. Maybe we will catch some of the shows or music. You can't really avoid seeing that or hearing it but we might just sit down this time and watch or listen on purpose. Then again, the weather is supposed to be terrible, possible snow and rain and wind, so I don't know if we will actually be staying that long. I guess it will keep the crowds away. That's always a good thing.
I think I am going to get a cup of coffee. It is only 2:00 and I still have a couple of hours to go. I was going to go outside for lunch but it is raining and windy outside and I decided I would stay here and write this. Now I have to find something else to do the rest of the day. I can always try to figure out how to install this software but since I already did that on my machine, I only have to figure out why it does not work on other machines.Guess it is because I am an administrator and when I do it for someone else, they do not have access to the right libraries. I am just guessing but nothing else seems to make sense yet.
I will leave this open on the off chance I decide to write more after I get my coffee. Since I have not written my closing line I guess I have to come back to it at some point.
I just herd on my podcast 99% Invisible that they need chili pickers in New Mexico. I'm thinking road trip. From what I can tell, it is because it is too hard to pick them. They used to get cheap labor from Mexico but now they can't and it is too hard to pick them themselves so they plant other things. Maybe its not such a good idea.
By the way, coffee, pretzels, and tangerine is not really good together. Just saying.
I think I am going now. Most of these entries have been too long anyway so having said nothing in this one, I will just let it go.
Until next time
I have begun to consider the possibilities involved in being unemployed. Will things change. Will there be more spaghetti in my life. Is there a place that I can be and not be at the same time.
You know, I don't really have anything to say. I am at work, doing the same thing over and over again. My brain has rotted and I am not sure even if I find another job I will be able to actually do it. I might just find some work as a stoker in the grocery store. Or a paid greeter at Costco. Or maybe I can find a job being old. I am getting good at that.
For some reason, when I type stoker, it changes it to stalker. I think maybe that might be a new career. Professional stalker. I can spend my days following someone and being creepy. I certainly have the creepy part nailed. Probably don't have the patience to follow someone for any length of time. I'll just follow people who are sitting down. That way, I can have a coffee.
I would like more spaghetti in my life. Can't get enough spaghetti.
Maeghan is in the process of saying goodbye to her friends. Not a fun time I am sure. She still has a couple of weeks to catch up with them, but she does realize that this will be the end. Maybe stay in touch but probably not likely. She does still talk to some of her friends that have moved away over the years but these are her best friends she has had for a long time. Always hard to do. I've never actually had any friends, so I am just imagining it is hard.
William doesn't really have any friends. He had been spending more time with some of his schoolmates but they have always been mean to him and not really his friends. Don't know why they have chosen now to get closer and let him into their groups. William has trouble in groups, hard for him to not be the center of attention or at least to keep his mouth shut and not try to impress everyone. You know the type and school kids are not known for being very receptive to that. So he spends a lot of time at home.
But, the new world awaits. I don't see anything changing but it will hotter, so we will all be more short tempered. Heat does that to you. You would think I would be ready for it but I'm not. I have no idea how I will be handling it. I don't sleep now but with the heat I think I might sleep even less, if that is possible. The kids have never known this kind of heat. They have lived in Tasmania for a long time and it does not get hot here. It is always hot in Queensland and it never gets cold. Big changes for them.
I am not sure why I even started this entry. I don't have anything to say and I don't really feel like typing. I just thought it would pass the time since I have nothing else to do today and I have to look like I might be doing something.
William's birthday is next week. I got him a game for the Xbox. A game I said he couldn't have back when it came out but it was only $20 the other day so I bought it for him. GTA 5. I know, a game not really for kids but he really wanted it and I always said no but I guess it doesn't really matter anymore. He has to have something to do and he does have his own Xbox. Maybe it will keep him off of mine for a while. I doubt it as I have over 150 games since I have been a member of Xbox Live for about 5 or 6 years. New games every month. I have deleted about 80 of them as I ran out of room on my hard drive. I still own them and can download them again if I want to play them but I have never played most of the games I have. I just downloaded them because they were free. I haven't bought a new game for years. I think the last one might have been Skyrim, but I don't really remember. The games available are usually old and out of date but they are free so how can you lose.
I am currently playing Witcher 3. It was free at one point even though it is a relatively new game. I started it about 6 months ago but they kept referring to Witcher 2 and I had that one also. So I went back and played that. Now I have moved on to the new one, or the newest one they have. I am almost back to the point where I stopped playing it last time, so I guess I have caught up. Although, I am confused as some of the stuff I remember doing the first time are not there this time. I have no idea why. I think it might be because I just went around and tried to find everything there was to find and I think I screwed up the tasks that are available. I think I did some of them without actually having a task telling me to do it so the task never shows up. I don't know, but it seems different this time.
Guess that's enough about gaming. We are going to take William to the Huon Show. I have gone over what that is before so I will not do it again. None of us have any money so I am not sure he is going to get to enjoy it but it's only $25 for a family to get in so it is really cheep. Maybe we will catch some of the shows or music. You can't really avoid seeing that or hearing it but we might just sit down this time and watch or listen on purpose. Then again, the weather is supposed to be terrible, possible snow and rain and wind, so I don't know if we will actually be staying that long. I guess it will keep the crowds away. That's always a good thing.
I think I am going to get a cup of coffee. It is only 2:00 and I still have a couple of hours to go. I was going to go outside for lunch but it is raining and windy outside and I decided I would stay here and write this. Now I have to find something else to do the rest of the day. I can always try to figure out how to install this software but since I already did that on my machine, I only have to figure out why it does not work on other machines.Guess it is because I am an administrator and when I do it for someone else, they do not have access to the right libraries. I am just guessing but nothing else seems to make sense yet.
I will leave this open on the off chance I decide to write more after I get my coffee. Since I have not written my closing line I guess I have to come back to it at some point.
I just herd on my podcast 99% Invisible that they need chili pickers in New Mexico. I'm thinking road trip. From what I can tell, it is because it is too hard to pick them. They used to get cheap labor from Mexico but now they can't and it is too hard to pick them themselves so they plant other things. Maybe its not such a good idea.
By the way, coffee, pretzels, and tangerine is not really good together. Just saying.
I think I am going now. Most of these entries have been too long anyway so having said nothing in this one, I will just let it go.
Until next time
Friday, November 08, 2019
MWNews 153
I want to tell you something about William. Probably won't take as long to tell it as I think, so I will have to include other things in here. Which, of course, means complaining and whining but maybe I can avoid too much of that this time. Don't count on it.
You know I have always said William can't read and his handwriting is illegible. His sentence structure is non-existent and he rarely keeps to any sort of coherence when he is trying to write a story or something. I know, it is sad but it's true. I am told repeatedly that it is his autism and I cannot really argue the point as he does have some compulsive behaviors that cannot easily be explained. It must be something not connecting right in his mind as the behaviors are consistent and not random in how they are projected. But, as I have said and not said enough, he is a very good kid. Very loving and affectionate and thinks everyone should be that way too. To the point that it is really annoying at times but we learn to live with it.
But I have to relate something that really amazed me the other day. We know he plays video games whenever he can get someone to play with him. He plays by himself but he would rather watch a movie or a video than play by himself or without an audience. He is consistently asking everyone if they will plan a game with him. I never do. I would say I rarely do but it is actually never. I tried a few times but I just can't handle it. Another story I have probably related at some other time but I just don't like playing games with others and to play with William is a real adventure. I won't go into it too much but he does not really play the game. He just does what he wants. You can try to ignore him but he finds a way to crash into your part of the game and makes it impossible for you to play the game the way it is supposed to be played.
And before you say why don't I just play the way he does, it's because if you do that, he gets bored and stops playing. He would much rather be annoying you and whatever it is you are doing than actually play with you or even against you. Which brings up playing games against him. He is too good. I mean, I am fair at most games but he is a kid and can play anything all the time and play it very well. Or very well compared to me. I don't mind losing to him all the time but playing against him, you don't even get a chance to lose. It is over and done with before you can even begin to do anything.
There are games, like racing games, where you can beat him all the time, but it is mainly because he does his wander around thing and not really race so it is basically you racing against yourself and him trying to find what else he can do besides race. Again, we can play that way but he gets bored after a while and you either have to quit playing or he quits playing or you just sit there and wait for him while he does his thing. It's not really fun for anyone but we do try on occasion.
I said I don't like playing games with anyone, not even online games. I just never got into it and really don't want to start now. I enjoy the competition but I like doing things on my own and playing with or against others doesn't really appeal to me. I wish it did but then I might spend too much time doing that and forget all the things I need to be doing. Like teaching William to read.
Which gets us back to the subject of what William was doing the other day. Maeghan was playing a new game, or new game for us, not really a new game. It was Sherlock Holmes or something. It requires a lot of reading about what is going on and what you need to do. I was across the room doing something, I don't remember what, and I keep hearing William telling Maeghan what to do.
You know how that goes. One kid telling another what they need to do in a game. Maeghan is usually good about it, or not exactly good but she tolerates it from William, basically because there is no way to stop him from doing it. And, a lot of times. William is right in what you need to do. Most of the times he is not but he does come up with good strategies every once and a while and it gets Maeghan through some harder parts of games. Not just this game but a lot of games.
Anyway, I kept hearing him say the same things over and over again. Like he was reading them from the screen or something. I have no idea what Maeghan was doing and I was not really paying attention but then I hear him tell Maeghan to go back to some screen, then go to another screen and then to different screens. Each time, he would say something about what she needs to do and then piece it together with other screens to find out what was needed. I thought he was being really clever but then I thought how could he be doing all that just from watching.
I know, your first thought is he has played it before but we just got the game. There was no way he had ever done this before and he doesn't even like that kind of game. Too much mental work, I think. As I heard him keep doing this over and over again, William never tires of giving advice, I began to pay more attention. I kind of watched what was going on. And, to my amazement, I think I figured it out. And. by the way, as a side note, just typing this in is making me cry I was so proud. Not a good thing at work so I will have to take a break and go do something else and then come back to this. I might forget everything and not tell you why I was proud but I don't think that will happen.
I am sort of back. People are walking in on me so I have to keep interrupting. I was only gone half an hour so if you could just sit there without reading for half an hour, you can simulate how this entry got entered.
Back to William.
What I found was that he was actually reading the screens and interpreting what they were telling Maeghan to do. Not just the gist of it but actually reading the words, understanding them, and relaying the information to Maeghan so she could understand what she needed to do. And he was doing it across multiple screens, so that you had to remember what one screen said and apply it to the next screen. It was amazing. I could barely follow what he was doing. Maeghan just did it and for the most part, it worked. She got past each of those sections and she did it by following exactly what William was saying to do.
Now this is what is amazing about this and came as a total surprise to me. I didn't think he could read. I thought he could definitely not read that quickly. And, I did not think he understand most of what he was reading. But he could and he did.
A screen would come up, he would read it out loud, and then decide she needed to go to another screen to read that and understand what she needed to do. And he was doing it as quickly as she could change screens. I couldn't barely read it that fast. He was not sounding it out, he was not memorizing it, he was reading it. I watched him do it for a good fifteen minutes. It was truly amazing.
Eventually, Maeghan got tired of him telling her what to do. He got tired of hearing her telling him to go away. So he decided to go watch videos again in his room. As he got up to leave, I told him that was a damn good job. He had no idea what I was talking about. I told him I was proud of him for reading all those screens and doing his best to help Maeghan. I told him I did not know he could read that well and that it was amazing to see him do it so fast and get it right all the time. He kind of looked at me, then smiled really big, came over and gave me a really big hug. He then said, thanks Dad and went on his way to his room. I don't think he understand how much that meant to me, seeing him do that, but I will tell him again when I get home. It was amazing.
Now I don't think he does that all the time. I think he still struggles when trying to read a book or participate in class but I don't really know that for a fact. I don't hear about him having problems at school anymore but I have always assumed it is because they just learned to live with him. Maybe he is actually getting better. Maybe this was not just a fluke and maybe he can read and understand and do the things he will need to do in life. I am hoping beyond on hope that it will be the case, but I need to talk to him about it more to be sure.
It could be because it was a video game, the thing he loves the most, and having it be part of that, he payed more attention and concentrated a little more. It could be that Maeghan was letting him help and he was getting it right most of the time so he just tried harder. But I don't think that explains it all. Yes, it is probably a big part of it but I think he can read and understand and if he has enough motivation to do it, he can do it.
Now the big effort on our part is that we need to find a way to keep him motivated and keep improving. I have always said, if I can get him to read, everything else will fall into place. If he reads often enough, it becomes second nature to him and he doesn't have to struggle with it all the time. I can't say everything will be alright but this is about the best thing I have ever seen him do and it lets me know that there is hope he can get better and maybe, just maybe, his life will not be the struggle I have always tried to prepare for.
I have never worried about Maeghan, mentally. She has the mind to do what she wants. She just doesn't have the physical attributes to do some things like she wants to do them and that will always be her burden to bear. But I have always thought she would be ok, and I believe she always will be. But with William, I have worried and worried about it. He does things that are not smart and if we are not there to project and guide him, he will not be good at life. Now, I have hope. I have a feeling that we can make if better for him. That if I can show him what it takes to do something he wants to do, he will be able to do it, both physically and mentally. He's not there yet, and still has a long way to go, but that was damn impressive and I do not plan on letting him forget it. I don't think anyone else in the room, Maeghan, Juanita, or even William himself, understands what he did but I will not let him forget it and I will be there to encourage him in any way I can.
I think this did take as long at I thought it would so there is no need to add some filler. I think this tale stands on its own. Not that I don't have other things to talk about but I am going to leave this as a William tale and he rarely gets one all to himself. I can't really think of any but I think there have been a couple at least. Besides, I have to get ready to go home. I need to the day off and it is Friday, so maybe I can get some rest this weekend. I doubt it, but I might if I try.
So, it's goodbye from me and it's goodbye from my aching wrists.
By the way, I have added this note after I went back and previewed this entry. There are typos and misplaced words in this and I hope it is not too distracting. I don't want to re-read it and find them, so I typed this instead. Hope that is alright with you. Then again, there is no you as no one reads this, so I hope it's alright with me. I just checked, it is.
Until next time
You know I have always said William can't read and his handwriting is illegible. His sentence structure is non-existent and he rarely keeps to any sort of coherence when he is trying to write a story or something. I know, it is sad but it's true. I am told repeatedly that it is his autism and I cannot really argue the point as he does have some compulsive behaviors that cannot easily be explained. It must be something not connecting right in his mind as the behaviors are consistent and not random in how they are projected. But, as I have said and not said enough, he is a very good kid. Very loving and affectionate and thinks everyone should be that way too. To the point that it is really annoying at times but we learn to live with it.
But I have to relate something that really amazed me the other day. We know he plays video games whenever he can get someone to play with him. He plays by himself but he would rather watch a movie or a video than play by himself or without an audience. He is consistently asking everyone if they will plan a game with him. I never do. I would say I rarely do but it is actually never. I tried a few times but I just can't handle it. Another story I have probably related at some other time but I just don't like playing games with others and to play with William is a real adventure. I won't go into it too much but he does not really play the game. He just does what he wants. You can try to ignore him but he finds a way to crash into your part of the game and makes it impossible for you to play the game the way it is supposed to be played.
And before you say why don't I just play the way he does, it's because if you do that, he gets bored and stops playing. He would much rather be annoying you and whatever it is you are doing than actually play with you or even against you. Which brings up playing games against him. He is too good. I mean, I am fair at most games but he is a kid and can play anything all the time and play it very well. Or very well compared to me. I don't mind losing to him all the time but playing against him, you don't even get a chance to lose. It is over and done with before you can even begin to do anything.
There are games, like racing games, where you can beat him all the time, but it is mainly because he does his wander around thing and not really race so it is basically you racing against yourself and him trying to find what else he can do besides race. Again, we can play that way but he gets bored after a while and you either have to quit playing or he quits playing or you just sit there and wait for him while he does his thing. It's not really fun for anyone but we do try on occasion.
I said I don't like playing games with anyone, not even online games. I just never got into it and really don't want to start now. I enjoy the competition but I like doing things on my own and playing with or against others doesn't really appeal to me. I wish it did but then I might spend too much time doing that and forget all the things I need to be doing. Like teaching William to read.
Which gets us back to the subject of what William was doing the other day. Maeghan was playing a new game, or new game for us, not really a new game. It was Sherlock Holmes or something. It requires a lot of reading about what is going on and what you need to do. I was across the room doing something, I don't remember what, and I keep hearing William telling Maeghan what to do.
You know how that goes. One kid telling another what they need to do in a game. Maeghan is usually good about it, or not exactly good but she tolerates it from William, basically because there is no way to stop him from doing it. And, a lot of times. William is right in what you need to do. Most of the times he is not but he does come up with good strategies every once and a while and it gets Maeghan through some harder parts of games. Not just this game but a lot of games.
Anyway, I kept hearing him say the same things over and over again. Like he was reading them from the screen or something. I have no idea what Maeghan was doing and I was not really paying attention but then I hear him tell Maeghan to go back to some screen, then go to another screen and then to different screens. Each time, he would say something about what she needs to do and then piece it together with other screens to find out what was needed. I thought he was being really clever but then I thought how could he be doing all that just from watching.
I know, your first thought is he has played it before but we just got the game. There was no way he had ever done this before and he doesn't even like that kind of game. Too much mental work, I think. As I heard him keep doing this over and over again, William never tires of giving advice, I began to pay more attention. I kind of watched what was going on. And, to my amazement, I think I figured it out. And. by the way, as a side note, just typing this in is making me cry I was so proud. Not a good thing at work so I will have to take a break and go do something else and then come back to this. I might forget everything and not tell you why I was proud but I don't think that will happen.
I am sort of back. People are walking in on me so I have to keep interrupting. I was only gone half an hour so if you could just sit there without reading for half an hour, you can simulate how this entry got entered.
Back to William.
What I found was that he was actually reading the screens and interpreting what they were telling Maeghan to do. Not just the gist of it but actually reading the words, understanding them, and relaying the information to Maeghan so she could understand what she needed to do. And he was doing it across multiple screens, so that you had to remember what one screen said and apply it to the next screen. It was amazing. I could barely follow what he was doing. Maeghan just did it and for the most part, it worked. She got past each of those sections and she did it by following exactly what William was saying to do.
Now this is what is amazing about this and came as a total surprise to me. I didn't think he could read. I thought he could definitely not read that quickly. And, I did not think he understand most of what he was reading. But he could and he did.
A screen would come up, he would read it out loud, and then decide she needed to go to another screen to read that and understand what she needed to do. And he was doing it as quickly as she could change screens. I couldn't barely read it that fast. He was not sounding it out, he was not memorizing it, he was reading it. I watched him do it for a good fifteen minutes. It was truly amazing.
Eventually, Maeghan got tired of him telling her what to do. He got tired of hearing her telling him to go away. So he decided to go watch videos again in his room. As he got up to leave, I told him that was a damn good job. He had no idea what I was talking about. I told him I was proud of him for reading all those screens and doing his best to help Maeghan. I told him I did not know he could read that well and that it was amazing to see him do it so fast and get it right all the time. He kind of looked at me, then smiled really big, came over and gave me a really big hug. He then said, thanks Dad and went on his way to his room. I don't think he understand how much that meant to me, seeing him do that, but I will tell him again when I get home. It was amazing.
Now I don't think he does that all the time. I think he still struggles when trying to read a book or participate in class but I don't really know that for a fact. I don't hear about him having problems at school anymore but I have always assumed it is because they just learned to live with him. Maybe he is actually getting better. Maybe this was not just a fluke and maybe he can read and understand and do the things he will need to do in life. I am hoping beyond on hope that it will be the case, but I need to talk to him about it more to be sure.
It could be because it was a video game, the thing he loves the most, and having it be part of that, he payed more attention and concentrated a little more. It could be that Maeghan was letting him help and he was getting it right most of the time so he just tried harder. But I don't think that explains it all. Yes, it is probably a big part of it but I think he can read and understand and if he has enough motivation to do it, he can do it.
Now the big effort on our part is that we need to find a way to keep him motivated and keep improving. I have always said, if I can get him to read, everything else will fall into place. If he reads often enough, it becomes second nature to him and he doesn't have to struggle with it all the time. I can't say everything will be alright but this is about the best thing I have ever seen him do and it lets me know that there is hope he can get better and maybe, just maybe, his life will not be the struggle I have always tried to prepare for.
I have never worried about Maeghan, mentally. She has the mind to do what she wants. She just doesn't have the physical attributes to do some things like she wants to do them and that will always be her burden to bear. But I have always thought she would be ok, and I believe she always will be. But with William, I have worried and worried about it. He does things that are not smart and if we are not there to project and guide him, he will not be good at life. Now, I have hope. I have a feeling that we can make if better for him. That if I can show him what it takes to do something he wants to do, he will be able to do it, both physically and mentally. He's not there yet, and still has a long way to go, but that was damn impressive and I do not plan on letting him forget it. I don't think anyone else in the room, Maeghan, Juanita, or even William himself, understands what he did but I will not let him forget it and I will be there to encourage him in any way I can.
I think this did take as long at I thought it would so there is no need to add some filler. I think this tale stands on its own. Not that I don't have other things to talk about but I am going to leave this as a William tale and he rarely gets one all to himself. I can't really think of any but I think there have been a couple at least. Besides, I have to get ready to go home. I need to the day off and it is Friday, so maybe I can get some rest this weekend. I doubt it, but I might if I try.
So, it's goodbye from me and it's goodbye from my aching wrists.
By the way, I have added this note after I went back and previewed this entry. There are typos and misplaced words in this and I hope it is not too distracting. I don't want to re-read it and find them, so I typed this instead. Hope that is alright with you. Then again, there is no you as no one reads this, so I hope it's alright with me. I just checked, it is.
Until next time
Friday, November 01, 2019
MWNews 152
Time is running out. Not here for much longer. Work that is, let's not jump to any drastic conclusions. I've got basically a month and a half left. Beginning to get a lot of pressure to complete this project before I leave. Once again, the problem is no equipment and not a lack of effort on my part. It is coming in piecemeal, a couple of pieces at a time. Last week, I got in all the Surface Pro LTE machines, six of them, and I built and imagined them and sent them out. These machines are used by people in the field, State Traffic/Road Users people. The use them while they are out directing, re-routing and monitoring traffic. I actually don't know what they do but they are out in the field all the time. I think they are actual police officers but I can't really be sure. I just know they inspect trucks and things to see if they are road worthy and then go out and check the roads to see if they are truck worthy. Or something like that. This week, I got in two advanced laptops which have been waiting for about four months now. I am setting them up now to be deployed on Monday. Seems the people that get these should be able to set them up themselves.
Right now, I can hear the big, big boss outside my door. Not sure what he is talking about but he has been there off and on all day talking to the people there. Mostly IT people doing different applications within the government so I suppose it is kind of important. I really don't know, not my area.
I am also listening to This American Life on my headphones. Something about square dancing being the national dance of the US. I don't see it but I have not really been paying attention. I think they are for it but I'm not sure.When I get the chance, I listen to my podcasts while at work. And now, I just got the message that my headphones have to be charged, so I guess I will not be listening for much longer.
I listen to mostly US shows, then again, most podcasts are from the US. I listen to This American Life, TMS (The Morning Stream), DTNS (Daily Tech News Show), and lots of others. I listen to the podcast of a Dallas sports station, the Ticket. They put out a top ten moments every day, plus a summation of the best of BAD Radio once a week, although I seem to have noticed I have not heard one of those in a couple of weeks. Might have to check into it. I also listen to SBS news hear in Australia but that is a two to three minute update ten or 15 times a day. Most of the news is not really Australian but there is some. Most of it is from around the world.
I do listen to a number of other podcast, must can't be bothered to mention them. I get about 6 to 8 hours or podcasts a day. I only listen to about 3 hours so I am usually way behind. Right now, I am about two weeks behind. Makes the news not all that relevant as most of it has already happened or has already been resolved but since I do not get a chance to watch anything else on TV or listen to the radio, this is the only news I get.
I have cut way, way back on the podcasts. I used to be about 10 hours a day but I found that just totally unworkable. I think I have actually cut it all the way back to about 3 hours a day and I am catching up. The only way I was catching up before was to just leave it running all the time and miss half the stuff I wanted to listen to. That didn't seem to be very productive but not downloading them at all doesn't seem to be the right thing either. I will either have to quit work and just listen to podcasts or do something else. Fortunately, I am quiting work soon so maybe I will get a chance to catch up.
My headphones just went flat so I can type faster now without having to listen to something else. By the way, I did eat an orange earlier that was very bad. I only mention it so that when they find my poisoned body laying here next to the computer, maybe someone will read the last thing I typed and realize it was the rotten orange. Not that it was all rotten. I ate about half of it and then found a piece that was a bit harder than the rest. I thought maybe it just wasn't ripe but it tasted bad and I had to spit it out and wash my mouth out with a cup of coffee. I can't really taste it anymore but the coffee barely helped.
I think it is time I moved on from work talk and personal talk and any other talk that is distracting me from finishing my job. I have a couple of assignments I need to be doing but I did this instead because they are not really my job and I was only given them because no one else wanted to do it. Something about figuring out why someone's computer is running slow. Like that is something I can fix. It's because they don't know how to use a computer but can't really say that to anyone. I had someone today insist that I had to fix their phone because it would occasionally get a rasping noise on the line. I have nothing to do with phones and even if I did, I am not sure how you would fix that besides replacing it. And all these phones here are programmed for each individual. They can plug it in anywhere and it downloads their information into the phone so they always have the same setup. Too much information to try to describe what I mean and I have wandered back into work talk again so I will leave it at that. I am hoping my earphones charge soon so I don't have to go on listening to myself think.
Juanita and the kids are leaving in about three weeks, I think. They leave on the 26th and it is the 1st right now. I am both very sad and very glad about it. I am very sad because I will be alone again, with no chance to talk to or see anyone. Everyone else I know has or is leaving also and I won't get any closer to the people I work with so I could hang out with them because I am leaving that also.I just don't know about being here by myself again. It might not go so well.
And you add to that the fact that all my furniture is gone. Juanita did a really good job of selling it all but it means for two months, I have nothing to sit on or sleep on. They all have single mattresses to sleep on but I generally sleep in a recliner, long story I don't want to go into right now, and with that gone and no other furniture, I am stuck trying to sleep in a chair that is not big enough to sleep in. I have not really slept in about two weeks now and there is no relief in site. I am thinking of sleeping in the car but I have not done that yet. I do, occasionally, try to sleep on one of the mattresses but that gives me a headache and my back is about gone so it is not very restful. I would go into my back problems but I will save that for another day. Let's just say, most people are telling me I will be unable to walk in a very short time if I do not find out what is wrong and do something about it. I say I cannot afford to be off work and there is really nothing you can do about it other than take pain medicine, which has for the most part stopped working for me. But that is another story.
I am glad they are leaving as it means they will get everything setup at the new place before I get there. I am sad they are leaving because I am sure they will set it up with no thought to my needs and I will once again be a stranger in my own house. I will feel like I am visiting all the time and never really feel comfortable. But once again, another story I will probably never tell.
Maeghan's last day of school is next week, I think. She does have to go back for some test in a couple of weeks, but all her classes end next week. William still has a long way to go but he will be leaving too so there is not a whole lot of point to him going to school here anymore. I will not go into my feelings about that.
Speaking of William, I am really starting to regret not being closer to him like I should be. I have always said I need to fix that but I never have. I miss him a lot and we do not spend a lot of time together and I know he really wants to. I could go into why but I don't really know why myself. I just don't seem to have the patience needed to do it. It's not that I do not like him but we do not have a lot in common and I am sure it is all my fault for not making it better for him. Maeghan and I get along all the time and always talk to each other and I know William feels jealous about that and wants to have the same relationship but they are just two different people and where Maeghan and I can talk and understand each other all the time, William just never gets it and does not appreciate my humor and I do not appreciate his. We just do not have a lot in common. Again, all my fault and I want to fix it. I have so much other things to fix that he gets left behind but I need to make the time. I will make the time. It has to be done and I am the only one who can do it. There is no chance at all that he will ever read this and that is one of the problems, he cannot read, but if you ever do read this William I want to tell you.
I am sorry. It doesn't help but I am sorry. I love you and I miss you and I want us to be friends. I am hoping that if you are reading this, then I might have made a difference but if not, maybe your wife or someone will read it to you in the future. I love you William. It may not seem like it and I hope you are saying that I am wrong right now, but I love you and I am sorry for not being there for you when you needed me.
I would say enough of that but I do not want to make a joke at this point. I mean everything I say about what I want with William and it is up to me to make it happen.
I suppose I should be going now. I hate to have such a downer entry but that seems to be all I do lately. It is not a happy time and has not been a happy time for a long time. I don't see how moving will help and only see that it will make it worse. But, if I can find a decent job and make some money again, maybe this time we can make it work better. It is hard to do when we don't have any money and don't have a lot of things we can do together. Before I go off into another sad story, I am going to end this. Wasn't meant to be so depressing but it turned out that way. Tonight, they are all going to William's school fair. I don't get home in time, or I would not get there until it is actually ending, so they are going by themselves. I think they will be leaving early anyway as this school fair always leaves a lot to desire. Nothing really happening at it and other school fairs are much better. Plus, the Huon show is in a couple of weeks so that should make up for it.
I will just get going now. Talk to you later.
Until next time
Right now, I can hear the big, big boss outside my door. Not sure what he is talking about but he has been there off and on all day talking to the people there. Mostly IT people doing different applications within the government so I suppose it is kind of important. I really don't know, not my area.
I am also listening to This American Life on my headphones. Something about square dancing being the national dance of the US. I don't see it but I have not really been paying attention. I think they are for it but I'm not sure.When I get the chance, I listen to my podcasts while at work. And now, I just got the message that my headphones have to be charged, so I guess I will not be listening for much longer.
I listen to mostly US shows, then again, most podcasts are from the US. I listen to This American Life, TMS (The Morning Stream), DTNS (Daily Tech News Show), and lots of others. I listen to the podcast of a Dallas sports station, the Ticket. They put out a top ten moments every day, plus a summation of the best of BAD Radio once a week, although I seem to have noticed I have not heard one of those in a couple of weeks. Might have to check into it. I also listen to SBS news hear in Australia but that is a two to three minute update ten or 15 times a day. Most of the news is not really Australian but there is some. Most of it is from around the world.
I do listen to a number of other podcast, must can't be bothered to mention them. I get about 6 to 8 hours or podcasts a day. I only listen to about 3 hours so I am usually way behind. Right now, I am about two weeks behind. Makes the news not all that relevant as most of it has already happened or has already been resolved but since I do not get a chance to watch anything else on TV or listen to the radio, this is the only news I get.
I have cut way, way back on the podcasts. I used to be about 10 hours a day but I found that just totally unworkable. I think I have actually cut it all the way back to about 3 hours a day and I am catching up. The only way I was catching up before was to just leave it running all the time and miss half the stuff I wanted to listen to. That didn't seem to be very productive but not downloading them at all doesn't seem to be the right thing either. I will either have to quit work and just listen to podcasts or do something else. Fortunately, I am quiting work soon so maybe I will get a chance to catch up.
My headphones just went flat so I can type faster now without having to listen to something else. By the way, I did eat an orange earlier that was very bad. I only mention it so that when they find my poisoned body laying here next to the computer, maybe someone will read the last thing I typed and realize it was the rotten orange. Not that it was all rotten. I ate about half of it and then found a piece that was a bit harder than the rest. I thought maybe it just wasn't ripe but it tasted bad and I had to spit it out and wash my mouth out with a cup of coffee. I can't really taste it anymore but the coffee barely helped.
I think it is time I moved on from work talk and personal talk and any other talk that is distracting me from finishing my job. I have a couple of assignments I need to be doing but I did this instead because they are not really my job and I was only given them because no one else wanted to do it. Something about figuring out why someone's computer is running slow. Like that is something I can fix. It's because they don't know how to use a computer but can't really say that to anyone. I had someone today insist that I had to fix their phone because it would occasionally get a rasping noise on the line. I have nothing to do with phones and even if I did, I am not sure how you would fix that besides replacing it. And all these phones here are programmed for each individual. They can plug it in anywhere and it downloads their information into the phone so they always have the same setup. Too much information to try to describe what I mean and I have wandered back into work talk again so I will leave it at that. I am hoping my earphones charge soon so I don't have to go on listening to myself think.
Juanita and the kids are leaving in about three weeks, I think. They leave on the 26th and it is the 1st right now. I am both very sad and very glad about it. I am very sad because I will be alone again, with no chance to talk to or see anyone. Everyone else I know has or is leaving also and I won't get any closer to the people I work with so I could hang out with them because I am leaving that also.I just don't know about being here by myself again. It might not go so well.
And you add to that the fact that all my furniture is gone. Juanita did a really good job of selling it all but it means for two months, I have nothing to sit on or sleep on. They all have single mattresses to sleep on but I generally sleep in a recliner, long story I don't want to go into right now, and with that gone and no other furniture, I am stuck trying to sleep in a chair that is not big enough to sleep in. I have not really slept in about two weeks now and there is no relief in site. I am thinking of sleeping in the car but I have not done that yet. I do, occasionally, try to sleep on one of the mattresses but that gives me a headache and my back is about gone so it is not very restful. I would go into my back problems but I will save that for another day. Let's just say, most people are telling me I will be unable to walk in a very short time if I do not find out what is wrong and do something about it. I say I cannot afford to be off work and there is really nothing you can do about it other than take pain medicine, which has for the most part stopped working for me. But that is another story.
I am glad they are leaving as it means they will get everything setup at the new place before I get there. I am sad they are leaving because I am sure they will set it up with no thought to my needs and I will once again be a stranger in my own house. I will feel like I am visiting all the time and never really feel comfortable. But once again, another story I will probably never tell.
Maeghan's last day of school is next week, I think. She does have to go back for some test in a couple of weeks, but all her classes end next week. William still has a long way to go but he will be leaving too so there is not a whole lot of point to him going to school here anymore. I will not go into my feelings about that.
Speaking of William, I am really starting to regret not being closer to him like I should be. I have always said I need to fix that but I never have. I miss him a lot and we do not spend a lot of time together and I know he really wants to. I could go into why but I don't really know why myself. I just don't seem to have the patience needed to do it. It's not that I do not like him but we do not have a lot in common and I am sure it is all my fault for not making it better for him. Maeghan and I get along all the time and always talk to each other and I know William feels jealous about that and wants to have the same relationship but they are just two different people and where Maeghan and I can talk and understand each other all the time, William just never gets it and does not appreciate my humor and I do not appreciate his. We just do not have a lot in common. Again, all my fault and I want to fix it. I have so much other things to fix that he gets left behind but I need to make the time. I will make the time. It has to be done and I am the only one who can do it. There is no chance at all that he will ever read this and that is one of the problems, he cannot read, but if you ever do read this William I want to tell you.
I am sorry. It doesn't help but I am sorry. I love you and I miss you and I want us to be friends. I am hoping that if you are reading this, then I might have made a difference but if not, maybe your wife or someone will read it to you in the future. I love you William. It may not seem like it and I hope you are saying that I am wrong right now, but I love you and I am sorry for not being there for you when you needed me.
I would say enough of that but I do not want to make a joke at this point. I mean everything I say about what I want with William and it is up to me to make it happen.
I suppose I should be going now. I hate to have such a downer entry but that seems to be all I do lately. It is not a happy time and has not been a happy time for a long time. I don't see how moving will help and only see that it will make it worse. But, if I can find a decent job and make some money again, maybe this time we can make it work better. It is hard to do when we don't have any money and don't have a lot of things we can do together. Before I go off into another sad story, I am going to end this. Wasn't meant to be so depressing but it turned out that way. Tonight, they are all going to William's school fair. I don't get home in time, or I would not get there until it is actually ending, so they are going by themselves. I think they will be leaving early anyway as this school fair always leaves a lot to desire. Nothing really happening at it and other school fairs are much better. Plus, the Huon show is in a couple of weeks so that should make up for it.
I will just get going now. Talk to you later.
Until next time
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