MWNews 30

This email is more about me that the kids but some might say all of them are more about me than the kids. Maybe, but this one is definitely about me.

I just set up Skype on this computer but I do not have it starting automatically. I also have to share my headphones with Juanita on her computer but as soon as I set it up on there, it won't matter. I can send invitations but you might get annoyed with the Skype emails, so I can just include our address and if you get Skype, you can contact us there. It is catf1sh_gypsy. Notice that catf1sh is spelled with a 1(one) instead of an I(eye). Just look for catf1sh and it will find us, although it told me I could not use that as a user name because someone else already had it. I will have to setup Juanita's as a different number, I think, but I will do that later.

I am going to be scheduled for surgery. Probably on Dec. 14, but I do not have an exact date yet. Yes, it is bypass surgery, but I am not really worried about the operation. It is the recovery after the operation that I worry about and the being in the hospital and having anesthesia, which I have never had before. My mouth gets really dry at night and I panic when I cannot swallow and I cannot sleep on my back and all these things I am going to have to do when I am in the hospital and I just worry that I will be disoriented and panic and then do something that will cause a problem, so I am not looking forward to being in the hospital. And you cannot really explain that to the doctors and nurses so I will have to find a way to get around it. But the operation itself, I am not worried about.

They tell me I will be in the hospital for a week and then about 5 to 6 weeks rest before I can return to lite duties at work. Of course, I do not know what lite duties are when you work on a computer but I assume that means not working for long stretches at a time, which I don't do anyway. Since I work on a computer and work from home, I should not have any problems going back to work.

Anyway, when I know the exact date, I will let you know. I haven't been sending emails or adding to the blog because I wasn't sure what they were going to do. There is still the possibility that they will not do anything, but it doesn't seem likely. The surgeon got the pictures from my angiogram and he did not call me to tell me he had changed his mind, so I am assuming it is going ahead. It turns out it is the same three blockages that have always been there. The surgeon said they should have operated the first time they found them but he said cardiologist never seem to think that is the first thing they should do and usually leave it until it is too late to do anything. He said, in my case, it was good to do it now as they can see no damage to the heart and can only see the blockages. If they can fix them, then I should not have any more problems and I should be 100% better.

Everyone tells me I will be a new man and I will feel much, much better after the operation. They say I don't realise what kind of problems it is causing me now. They say you just get used to the pains and tiredness and problems and you do not notice them or you learn to live with them. But when they do the operation, you notice that you can do a lot of things that you just didn't do before, so you feel a whole lot better. I hope so. I hope it allows me to carry Meaghan and the other kids around more often. Right now, I can only carry them for short periods of time before I get tired and have to rest but after the operation, I hope I can carry both kids for as long as they want me to.

They are doing the operation in Newcastle, at John Hunter hospital. I think it is a new hospital but it doesn't look that new. I had my choice of going into Sydney or to Newcastle and I picked Newcastle because I don't think Juanita could have driven into Sydney to visit me. And, Newcastle is a lot closer, so it only takes about 45 minutes to get there. Then you have to find parking, which takes another 45 minutes, but maybe she can get lucky sometimes.

We are hoping she will be better by then. William is scheduled to be born on Nov. 23, but that might get moved up to this week after the ultra-sound she is having today. They are checking if the baby is ok and ready to be born. If so, they are going to try to move her up in the schedule but since they said the Nov. 23 date was the first one available, I don't see how they can move it up. She is 37 weeks as of this coming Thursday, so everything should be ok. I was, and still am, worried about them taking the baby too early, but everyone tells me 37 weeks is just fine.

Juanita is in a lot of pain and it is getting worse. She cannot get in and out of bed now and, depending on which doctor you talk to, the pain might go for several weeks or even months after the baby is born. If that happens, she will not be able to drive me to the hospital and back. I will have to take the train and a taxi or bus to the doctors. Juanita's parents get here on Dec. 17, so they can drive to pick me up when I get out but I will have to find another way to get there.

There is the possibility of having the operation on Dec. 7 or even Dec. 21 but the doctor said he would get me out of the hospital before Christmas, so that lets out Dec. 21, and they have a waiting list so Dec. 7 is not likely. I should find out for sure today or tomorrow. I have to go in for a whole day class before the operation. I was suppossed to go to one after the last operation but the only thing I went to was a thing that took about an hour and it was a waste of time. This one is all day and they even serve me lunch. I don't know how often they have the classes nor how many people attend but I guess they will tell me that beforehand.

Maeghan just called out to me. She is waking up. It is 07:30 in the morining here. She has not been waking up until 9 or 9:30 lately, since she has been home alone with Daddy. Of course, she has not been going to bed before 10:00 each night, so that is why she sleeps so late. Not that she doesn't want to go to bed earlier, she asks me each night to go to bed, but I am usually busy doing something and since she is sleeping in my bed with me, I have to go to bed with her and I am usually not ready until 10 or so. She usually asks to go to bed around 8:30 or 9 but if I put her in bed at that time, and I do not stay with her until she falls asleep, then she just wakes up and gets back up anyway. If I stay until she falls asleep, then I usually fall asleep too, so I don't get to watch my late night programs. Also, we just got the TV fixed in the bedroom, so if I try to watch TV while she is going to sleep, she does not go to sleep and wants to play all the time. I have to turn the TV off before she will sleep, which is really annoying, because when I am sleeping by myself, the only way I can fall asleep is to leave the tv on so I fall asleep while watching.

It is a real problem. I did have her sleeping in her bed but since I have washed the sheets and have not put them back on her bed, it was easier to put her in my bed. Maybe today, I will put her sheets on her bed and she can go back to sleeping in it. Then again, maybe not. I don't seem to have a lot of time these days to do anything. Juanita has been in the hospital for six weeks now, or maybe it is just four but it seems longer. I spend most of my days working in the morning, giving Maeghan and myself a shower when she wakes up. Getting Maeghan something to eat and getting snacks or lunch ready for us to take to the hospital. Then driving 45 minutes to the hospital, staying there for about 3 hours, then driving back home. When I get home, it is time to make dinner. I then make dinner, clean the dishes and by that time, it is time for one of my shows to be on, although lately, I have not been able to watch them, and then it is time for bed. It doesn't leave a whole lot of time for anything else, like writing emails or blogs or working or cleaning the rest of the house or doing the laundry or playing with Maeghan. Plus, we have to worry about Juanita and William and my impending operation and all the other things that happen, so we have a full day each day.

One thing we have been making time for is Maeghan's ballet and play group. I am going to miss her ballet play, which is on Dec. 17. I will probably be in the hospital during that time. Juanita says she will tape it for me but I am sure it will not be the same. Maeghan still loves ballet and it is just about the only thing she will do with other people and not have to have mommy or daddy around with her. We are not allowed to see the ballet rehearsals as it is suppossed to be a secret. We have a long list of things she has to have and do for the play. She has to have her hair up and new clothes, although they will be wearing costumes so I don't know why she needs new clothes. I bought her a new ballet outfit. It is a size three, which is the smallest they make, but it fits her better than the one the teacher made for her. That one is too baggy and bunches up in the middle and the elastic sticks Maeghan and causes her to get red marks all over her. Her new one has butterflies and sparkles on it. I still have to find her some tights and new ballet shoes. She does not have to have the ballet shoes as she wears her braces and they said that would be ok for her to wear her regular shoes but I want to find her some real ballet shoes and she can just forgoe the braces for one night.

She likes her new shoes though. They have butterflies on them and they light up when she walks. Now, people have even more reason to stop and stare at her when we are walking around. Not only do they stare at her because she is so cute, but they see her sparkly shoes and they stop and comment on them. Everyone at the hospital knows her as they all stop and talk to her everytime we go up there. She has gotten a little more comfortable with everyone there as she does not immediately go and hide when they talk to her but she still does not talk back to them. She spends a lot of her time in Juanita's room singing and dancing around and everyone that walks past stops and stares at her. She used to stop and sit beside me when they stopped and stared but now she just keeps on dancing. All of them comment on her shoes and say they have kids or grandkids or someone they know who would love to have sparkly shoes.

But back to Maeghan's play. It is on Dec. 17. We are only allowed to buy 6 tickets per family but since I will not be able to go, that will not be a problem. As I said, Juanita's family arrives that same day, in the morning, so Juanita will have to take the train to the airport, it is too long and complicated a drive for her to do by herself, and pick them up, bring them back on the train, then get Maeghan ready for the play by 6:00 pm. Hopefully, Juanita will not be in too much pain by then to do it. The train goes straight to the airport, so that is not a problem and she can park the car at the train station until she gets back. It does mean that no one will visit me that day but I would rather Maeghan got to do her play and they didn't have to rush anything for that than have them come up to Newcastle. The train ride is about two hours each way to the airport, so they should be really tired anyway. I just thought of the fact that I am not sure the train runs that early for her to get to the airport in time to pick them up on the weekends. I will have to check the schedule. I know it starts at around 4:30 am on weekdays, but they have cut back the timetables and it might be later on the weekends. She has to be on the train by 06:00 to get to the airport by 08:00, when they arrive. I will have to check.

Well, Juanita has her ultrasound today and I have to get ready to go. Maeghan went back to sleep so I will have to go wake her up and get her ready. I know it sounds silly to say don't worry about the operation, but I am not worried about it, so everyone else can try to not worry about it either. I know that is not going to happen, but it would be one less thing I have to worry about if I know you know I am going to be ok. I have been under a lot of stress lately, so anything I don't have to worry about helps.

I will write again soon, when I know the exact date. I am not trying to keep anything secret, I just wanted to have all the facts before I told everyone. I love you all and so does everyone else here. We look forward to talking and hearing from you soon.

Talk to you later.