MWNews 165

 Going to have to make this quick so I will just give a status of everyone. I think I used this picture recently but I could not be bothered to check so enjoy the repeat. I think I do it a lot as there does not really seem to be a way to check all the pictures I have uploaded other than looking at all the entries, and we know that is never going to happen.

Anyway, I think it has been almost a month since I posted. Mostly because I do not have access to my computer anymore, or not very often. Juanita sold her computer because she thought she was spending too muck time on it and she wanted to spend more time with us. All that really happened is that she moved from her desk to my desk and uses my computer all the time now. Not sure what she had planned but nothing had really changed. She still spends most of her time on the computer doing Facebook and playing games. I suppose it is different, but I don't see how. And, if she reads this which she never does, I will be in trouble for saying anything. But that will be different so it is worth the risk.

My health has gotten worse, although I don't think you can actually tell. All the scans I got have revealed two fractures in my spine, plus the three bulging disks, one of which is severe and they are looking if surgery is possible. The fractures, they say, are not a worry because they are on the good side, whatever that means. They tell me they are on the side where the spinal cord isn't so there is no chance of damage to the spinal cord. They cannot tell me how long they have been there but they seem to think it is fairly recent, within the past year. I have no idea what might have caused it and they don't either but I am told that explains the severe back pain I am having. I don't really buy it as the pain moves around and does not seem related to my spine, but can I get them to listen to what I am saying, no I cannot. So I live with it. Most of the time, it is just back pain. I can live with that but it is the night time pain that is the real problem. That makes it so I cannot move and cannot adjust my position in anyway to make it better. I just hurts. Far worse than during the day and in a different place. But again, no help from the medical profession. I don't know if they have written me off as a lost cause or they really do not know what the problem is, or they are just not listening to what I am describing. I will definitely be going to a different doctor. 

Which brings up the problem of going to the doctor. It would seem that my work, the HR firm that gets me work, has had several people leave for more permanent positions. I am being called in to take the place of all those open contracts they have. It means I work everyday and sometimes I am even working at night. Nothing hard yet but I am sure there will be some manual labor involved at some point and I will have to decide if I say no or not. I hate to say no because that usually means they no longer call me for open positions but I have done some simple stuff and really hurt myself when I have done it and if there is a job that requires continuous manual labor, I will be unable to complete it. But we will cross that bridge when I get to it. It does mean I have been unable to get back to the doctor for a few weeks. Just no time to do it and I need to get some scripts renewed soon so I will have to find the time. I am also supposed to have gone for another test but have not found the time to schedule that either. Hopefully, I will find some time in the next couple of weeks but I don't know what is going to happen.

All of this is about my back and I still have the heart problems to deal with. I think I might have said they have decided that operations will do no good, or they would do some good but they cannot operate where the problem is due to the previous operation I had. The blockage is in one of the arteries they replaced so they cannot replace it again. So they tell me it is medication to control it. I take 11 tablets each morning now and two more at night. It's a lot of pills to take but I keep being told that is what is keeping me alive so I don't mess with it or complain too much. Although, I have forgotten a couple of times and in my opinion, I felt much better on those days than when I am taking the pills. 

I probably mentioned that I once stopped taking all my medication because the side effects were just too much to take. Since then, since the heart attack, I have been back on most of the pills but I don't have the severe reaction I was having so I continue to take them. I don't actually feel right each day and the fact that I feel better when I don't take them would indicate to me that I am still feeling the side effects but I have decided to ignore it and keep taking them. Maybe I will change my mind again at some point but for now, I continue to take what I am told.

And not that I have only talked about me and a little about Juanita, I have started to run out of time and I need to get going. So I will very briefly mention the kids and what they are up to.

Maeghan and Juanita are currently in Tasmania, or actually they are on a plane coming back from Tasmania right now. I have to leave to go pick them up soon. Maeghan went down for the wedding and Juanita got to visit some of her friends and her brother and sister. She says she enjoyed it but I have been saying she will not want to come back here if she spends more time down there. Thankfully, they were only there a week and she is on her way back. I won't go into my thoughts on it all but I think there were mistakes made and she would realize it once she was back there but it didn't happen and she is returning so that is good.

Maeghan didn't get to visit all her friends back there and didn't get to spend much time with the ones she did visit. They were all going to school and could not take off to be with her. Maeghan had school also and she did it online so there was not a lot of time to really get to visit and talk. She says she had fun but I know she would have liked to have more time. Nothing to do about it but it has been very hard for her moving over here as she does not know anyone here and she missed out on a lot of spending time with her friends she has over there. They still talk on the phone all the time but it's not the same. She misses them a lot and I hoped this would be good for her, and it was, just not as good as it should have been and it will probably be worse once she gets back. 

She has tried to make friends over here but going to school, the people she goes with don't really seem interested and they are from all over Brisbane so it is hard for her to meet up with them or do anything other than school work with them. It's been hard on her and I wish there was something I could do but I am the crazy father and that is beginning to not be enough anymore. She will get better but it is hard to watch.

William on the other hand has had no real problems making friends. Or at least, he has not made an enemies. In Tasmania, there were a group of people who picked on everyone else not in their group and he was not in their group. He did eventually find some friends he could hang out with but then he moved over here. He still talks to them on the phone and plays on the Xbox with them but I don't know how satisfying that is for him. But he has made friends here, or he says he has. He has gone over to their houses a few times and he seems to be getting along in school. The fact that the school is pretty much just a holding station for delinquent students plays a part in it but he was never very enthusiastic about school anyway and since they do not put any kind of pressure on him there, he is doing well in what they are asking him to do.

He does seem to get along with everyone and he does get to play in the games they play so I think it is good for him. I wish he was pushed a little more in his school work but for now, he is doing really well. He even got a B on one of his subjects and he has made some really cool stuff in woodworking.

I have run out of time and don't even have time to ramble on for a few more paragraphs. I've gotta go.

Until next time, 

Later

MWNews 164

 

Have I ever mentioned that William has gotten really really tall. I don't remember if I have. I think he is about 6'4" now but he might be taller. Not that it matters but I rarely get to mention it. He went past me a number of years ago and I am 6'1". Or I used to be. I think I have shrunk over the years to about 6'. I'm still over 6' but not by much anymore. Must be the back compressing in upon itself.

But William, he just keeps on growing. My running joke is I tell him in a few years, he will be as tall as I am. He doesn't think it is funny. He tries to prove he towers over me already but I tell him it is because I slouch around him to make him feel taller. He's not buying it. His brother, Michael, still might be taller than him but we don't see or speak to Michael anymore so it has been several years since they were together. I won't go into the reasons for that other than to say it was their choice and their lives so let them live it as the may. I'll never go back to seeing them but he is Juanita's son, so I don't actively try to keep them apart. Maybe someday, hopefully after I am gone. Which could be soon if all goes well, or bad or whatever.

Yeah, I'm still not well and continuing to get worse. Maybe I can find a doctor that actually listens to what I am telling them but for now, I go through the tests and have them fix things that I am not actually complaining about. It's nice to have them looking after my heart and telling me there is nothing wrong with my back but I can no longer sleep for any length of time as my back seizes up when I lay down for any length of time and the pain is something I can not seem to get across to anyone as to how bad it is. I can't move, can't stay still, and almost scream in agony with every movement. It's bad. I am trying to convince myself that it is something I will have to get used to but I can't live with this kind of pain for much longer. 

The big problem is the pain seems to move around. I have lower back pain, had it for years. It's like everyone else lower back pain. It can get bad and so bad I cannot walk but we all know what that is like. I can take pain killers and it helps but I hate taking pain killers for many reasons, some of which I have talked about in here. I can live with that. It's not nice but nothing countless others have to live with so I do my best. They tell me to lose weight and keep it exercised so I try my best. Lose some weight, then have more pain so stop losing weight because I can't move but its a life cycle of up and down. I'm sure it will get better some day. Just not today.

But when I say it moves around it is the new pain that is the real issue these days. It kind of started when I had the angiogram a few weeks ago. I had to lay on my back on a really hard table for an hour or so. It started hurting then, in the middle of my back but since I was not allowed to move, I had to lay there and take it. Ever since then, I have the horrible pain in the middle of my back if I lay down for a time, like to sleep or something. When I try to sit up or move or roll over, it hurts really bad. Since I roll over a lot in my sleep, the pain is near constant and I have to sit up and stay that way for a while. But the real problem is when it seizes. Nothing, no position or movement, seems to stop that pain. And taking pain medicine before, during or after the incident does not seem to help. I don't know if it is too bad for the medicine or it is the wrong medicine or what the problem is but it hurts and hurts and slowly drifts away until I can no longer feel it. Times seem to vary. 

The pain moving around part is relatively new. I still get the pain in the middle of my back but somedays or sometimes, it is in my side or in both sides and sometimes across my shoulders. I can't yet tell if this is the same pain or related to the middle back pain but it comes and goes. The middle back pain is still a problem but it is accompanied by the other pain which is pretty much all the time now. Whether I am laying down or just sitting, walking or doing whatever. My sides and shoulders seem to hurt constantly. The doctor has done a bone scan and a CT scan of my back and I am awaiting the results. Have to go back this week but I don't think it is a bone problem. Then again, what do I know. The doctor seems to latch on to whatever I tell him first and stops listening for all the other symptoms. Been going to him for over a year and it has gotten much worse instead of getting better in that time. He keeps asking me if I want more pain medication but we know my feelings on that and besides, shouldn't he be telling me what I need to do instead of asking me. If I don't get a satisfactory answer this week, I will move on to another doctor.

That is the problem with some of the medical profession over here, and I assume everywhere. The doctor has a fifteen minute window for your appointment and he has to make a diagnoses in that time. There is not a lot of time to go into any details so he hears the first thing you say and starts to proscribe medicine that will fix that specific problem. He does not get into any other symptoms or problems you might be having because he does not have the time. The next patient is waiting and he has to move on. I know, private health insurance would probably solve that but we won't go into the issues with private health care right now. Just say, I am stuck with this doctor until I move on to the next one, which could be soon. His office is about 45 minutes away and there is a perfectly good medical center within walking distance of where I live now. A new, modern center that has everything in one building so it would probably be better if I made the move anyway. Juanita and the kids go to the new building and doctors so I should probably do the same. Just means I will probably have to start over with all my treatments.

And now I have spent all my time talking about me again. I did not plan on doing that. I was going to talk about William more and I never seem to have a lot to say about him and his adventures. Its either me or Maeghan or food and William gets left out. But then again, William is William and he doesn't change a lot. He is in the tenth grade and is still spending most of his time in his room. I don't think he wants to be in his room all the time but he is loud and boisterous and does a lot of talking when he is in the room with everyone else. It is annoying most of the time but when he is not talking, he has his iPad playing very loud so we have to tell him to turn it down. He ends up back in his room. We have tried to be more tolerant of it but he keeps sneaking the volume louder and louder, his and the iPad, so we have to say something and then he leaves. He refuses to wear headphones and we have bought him countless pairs to try to get him to use them but he never does.

He did have a play date a couple of weeks ago. A bunch of kids were getting together at one of their houses and they invited him over to play. I think they might have all been younger than him but I couldn't be sure. He had me drop him off and drive away before I got to see them. They did all call his name and said they had been waiting for him when he arrived. The seemed genuinely happy he was there, like he was their leader or something. But I only had a few seconds to take it all in as he was waving me away. On a weird note, I could have sworn they called him Paul when he arrived but he says they did not so I must have been mistaken. He said they were going to do it again but it hasn't happened yet as far as I know. He might have been busy when they got together again or they just haven't planned another. With all the people in our house, we can't really invite them over here but I think he would like that if we did. We will see how everything goes in the near future.

Maeghan and Juanita's trip to Tasmania is off and on. The Covid still might get it and right now, they are still banned from going to Tasmania but they are going to make a new decision after Easter so hopefully, they remove the restrictions. It will be good for everyone I think, even though they will probably be broke when they get there. The government decided to take all my income, or unemployment payments and the Covid bonuses ended last week, so I am living on less than minimum wage until I can go back to work. I think I went into that in too much detail last time but the new addition is that the government has decided I owe them money and has stopped my payments until I can convince them they are wrong. That will take weeks I am sure. But another tale that will not be told.

It is Easter morning and I am tired. Everyone will be waking up soon and I will need to feed them. I should get going and find some time to relax before all that happens. Have I ever mentioned that Easter seems to be a very big deal over here. I am not sure it is that way in other places or if it is just my upbringing versus Juanita's family but they seem to make a very big deal about it over here. Presents and chocolate and other things. Not so much on the food but since I do the cooking, maybe that is my fault as I do not do or plan a big meal for Easter. They might have done that before I got here but for now, it is just chocolates and presents on Easter morning. It seems strange to me.

I'll be going now.

Until next time